Let kids fight each other
Expert says siblings can sort out their own conflicts
PARENTS should encourage their fighting children to resolve the conflict themselves rather than intervening, experts have advised.
Children who overcame sibling arguments without the help of mum or dad were more likely to develop better problem solving skills, than the kids who relied on parent intervention.
Raising Children Network executive director, Dr Julie Green told the Sunday Territo
rian while parents might be tempted to mediate sibling arguments, it was best to sit back and let the kids work it out for themselves.
“Kids grow up with understanding parental authority, but sometimes you have to let them work through fights on their own and it does help with developing life skills,” Dr Green said.
“But parents must know when to step in — if there’s name calling, general nastiness, or anything physical, than you should intervene.”
“It is important to teach your kids about disagreeing respectfully and treating one another with respect.”
Mother Katrina Volkerts said her three children generally had small tiffs with one another every day, whereas major arguments exploded about once a week.
“They get along pretty well, but when they do fight it’s over games or personal space,” she said.
Ms Volkerts encouraged her children to work out issues independently, before stepping in as ‘mum the mediator.’
“I leave them to their own devices to a point and if it’s not sorted out, I walk in and intervene.”
“I tell them to listen to one another and then maybe they will find a solution.”
But Dr Green said it was healthy for siblings to bicker every once in a while and not all fights should be perceived as “bad”. “Fights and resolving conflicts teaches them how to get on with their peers, to share and take turns, so it’s not all bad.”
Other tips for managing sibling conflict included setting family rules on what is considered “acceptable” and “unacceptable” behaviour and punishments for breaking the rules. Punishments included taking away favourite toys or privileges such as attending activities.