Sunday Territorian

Keep Xmas cheer in check at party

The work Christmas shindig can be a double-edged sword. You’d be mad not to let your hair down but it’s best to follow a few rules to ensure you remain employed

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IT’S not the fruit mince pies in Coles and Woolies or the Christmas carols on repeat that herald the start of my festive period.

It’s when the work Christmas party rolls around that I really start to let my jingle bells rock. Employees all over the nation bust their humps every year and, apart from our hardearned wages, we expect a nice party to let our hair down and to celebrate with our colleagues.

But as with most activities that involve freebies the humble Christmas party is not without its risks. In fact one of my dear old mates at work refuses to attend them – she says the probabilit­y she’ll lose her job after a few too many truth serums is too high a price to pay for a night of folly.

As discussed in my last column, the proliferat­ion of the workplace health and safety boffins, combined with an increasing tendency of Australian­s to sue, means you can easily find yourself in strife.

I’ve identified a few problem areas that have seen more than one person given the “don’t come Monday”, so here’s some advice on how to ON ASSISTANT MINISTER FOR A VIBRANT DARWIN CBD PAUL KIRBY’S WORK

“DOING THE BEST I CAN” is probably what clueless and his whole crew would assess themselves as doing but as the saying goes “You can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear”. Without a bit of substance to support the effort another famous saying “We’re all doomed” comes to mind!!! Alan ON WOMEN ONLY SEATS ON AEROPLANES

My hubby and I have to get separate flights ? Sally Kelly have an excellent night while remaining gainfully employed. (*Please note this advice should not be relied upon in the Fair Work Commission) KARAOKE A recent survey found karaoke is favoured by one in two workplaces as their Christmas party event of choice. This is because it’s much cheaper than mini golf and also because bosses aren’t above sniggering

This is getting ridiculous!! Not all men are predators stop treating them like they are. Bec Imhof

Ooh segregatio­n, how retro. Hipsters will love it. Chris Prentice

That’s cool. I’ll just see where the good seats are before I decide wether I’ll be identifyin­g as a man or a woman. No worries. Jono Black

Can we get blokes-only seats to avoid the women with crying, screaming kids? Andrew Power

Great idea. We should go a step further, not only segregate men and women, but also people of at their employees making fools of themselves.

There is absolutely no shame in being a crap singer. Countless people have made careers out of it, where you run into trouble is song choice. But try to steer clear of power ballads, if you start tearing up while singing Adele’s Hello you might be providing your workplace with a bit too much insight into the failings of your personal life. By the same token you don’t want to go too fun. Because good luck making eye contact with your superior after they’ve seen you grind around on stage channellin­g Missy Elliott while singing Work It. Keep it light — think Spice Girls, Cold Chisel, Disney classics or my personal favourite, Peter Andre. different races, religions and sexual orientatio­n. A place for everyone — and everyone in their place. Herbert Herbertson

I find women the most unpleasant to sit next to on planes. Christie Javens

While we’re at it can we have a skinny one seat section and an oversized two seat section? Andrea Morris

Good I might be able to go on a boys trip without being hit on by women. I hate when I get hit on. Duaneo Spencer Pretty sure I can only occupy one seat at a time and when I’m in it, it is woman only. There – fixed. Jac Haines

I would like this for my teenage daughter who travels alone. Jaeme Davey

Are there men only seats? Because woman can be pretty heinous on flights too! Nivea Burgess If that’s the case then we want our pubs back. Dave Hely

Can I sit in the women only seats because I also don’t like sitting next to weird men. Sam Pratt Gee, women fought to have the right to go into male only bars and out of ladies lounges and now they want this. Les Dolheguy

Id prefer a bit of a man spreader than an obese person who overflows on to my seat. Kailee Moss ON A CAR SPEEDING AT MORE THAN 200KM/H ON TIGER BRENNAN DR

With all the speed issues they have in Tiger Brennan drive perhaps it might be time to look at installati­on of some “traffic calming” constructi­ons. Garry

I hope the judge does more than a wet lettuce slap on the wrist! The Gee

 ?? Picture: ISTOCK ?? Ideally it’s best not to make a complete fool of yourself in front of your co-workers at the office Christmas party
Picture: ISTOCK Ideally it’s best not to make a complete fool of yourself in front of your co-workers at the office Christmas party
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