Keep Xmas cheer in check at party

The work Christ­mas shindig can be a dou­ble-edged sword. You’d be mad not to let your hair down but it’s best to fol­low a few rules to en­sure you re­main em­ployed

Sunday Territorian - - OPINION -

IT’S not the fruit mince pies in Coles and Woolies or the Christ­mas car­ols on re­peat that her­ald the start of my fes­tive pe­riod.

It’s when the work Christ­mas party rolls around that I re­ally start to let my jin­gle bells rock. Em­ploy­ees all over the nation bust their humps every year and, apart from our hard­earned wages, we ex­pect a nice party to let our hair down and to cel­e­brate with our col­leagues.

But as with most ac­tiv­i­ties that in­volve free­bies the hum­ble Christ­mas party is not with­out its risks. In fact one of my dear old mates at work re­fuses to at­tend them – she says the prob­a­bil­ity she’ll lose her job after a few too many truth serums is too high a price to pay for a night of folly.

As dis­cussed in my last col­umn, the pro­lif­er­a­tion of the work­place health and safety boffins, com­bined with an in­creas­ing ten­dency of Aus­tralians to sue, means you can eas­ily find your­self in strife.

I’ve iden­ti­fied a few prob­lem ar­eas that have seen more than one per­son given the “don’t come Mon­day”, so here’s some ad­vice on how to ON AS­SIS­TANT MIN­IS­TER FOR A VI­BRANT DAR­WIN CBD PAUL KIRBY’S WORK

“DO­ING THE BEST I CAN” is prob­a­bly what clue­less and his whole crew would as­sess them­selves as do­ing but as the say­ing goes “You can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear”. With­out a bit of sub­stance to sup­port the ef­fort an­other fa­mous say­ing “We’re all doomed” comes to mind!!! Alan ON WOMEN ONLY SEATS ON AEROPLANES

My hubby and I have to get sep­a­rate flights ? Sally Kelly have an ex­cel­lent night while re­main­ing gain­fully em­ployed. (*Please note this ad­vice should not be re­lied upon in the Fair Work Com­mis­sion) KARAOKE A re­cent sur­vey found karaoke is favoured by one in two work­places as their Christ­mas party event of choice. This is be­cause it’s much cheaper than mini golf and also be­cause bosses aren’t above snig­ger­ing

This is get­ting ridicu­lous!! Not all men are preda­tors stop treat­ing them like they are. Bec Imhof

Ooh seg­re­ga­tion, how retro. Hip­sters will love it. Chris Pren­tice

That’s cool. I’ll just see where the good seats are be­fore I de­cide wether I’ll be iden­ti­fy­ing as a man or a woman. No wor­ries. Jono Black

Can we get blokes-only seats to avoid the women with cry­ing, scream­ing kids? An­drew Power

Great idea. We should go a step fur­ther, not only seg­re­gate men and women, but also peo­ple of at their em­ploy­ees mak­ing fools of them­selves.

There is ab­so­lutely no shame in be­ing a crap singer. Count­less peo­ple have made ca­reers out of it, where you run into trou­ble is song choice. But try to steer clear of power bal­lads, if you start tear­ing up while singing Adele’s Hello you might be pro­vid­ing your work­place with a bit too much in­sight into the fail­ings of your per­sonal life. By the same to­ken you don’t want to go too fun. Be­cause good luck mak­ing eye con­tact with your su­pe­rior after they’ve seen you grind around on stage chan­nelling Missy El­liott while singing Work It. Keep it light — think Spice Girls, Cold Chisel, Dis­ney clas­sics or my per­sonal favourite, Peter An­dre. dif­fer­ent races, re­li­gions and sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion. A place for ev­ery­one — and ev­ery­one in their place. Her­bert Her­bert­son

I find women the most un­pleas­ant to sit next to on planes. Christie Javens

While we’re at it can we have a skinny one seat sec­tion and an over­sized two seat sec­tion? An­drea Mor­ris

Good I might be able to go on a boys trip with­out be­ing hit on by women. I hate when I get hit on. Dua­neo Spencer Pretty sure I can only oc­cupy one seat at a time and when I’m in it, it is woman only. There – fixed. Jac Haines

I would like this for my teenage daugh­ter who trav­els alone. Jaeme Davey

Are there men only seats? Be­cause woman can be pretty heinous on flights too! Nivea Burgess If that’s the case then we want our pubs back. Dave Hely

Can I sit in the women only seats be­cause I also don’t like sit­ting next to weird men. Sam Pratt Gee, women fought to have the right to go into male only bars and out of ladies lounges and now they want this. Les Dol­heguy

Id pre­fer a bit of a man spreader than an obese per­son who over­flows on to my seat. Kailee Moss ON A CAR SPEED­ING AT MORE THAN 200KM/H ON TIGER BREN­NAN DR

With all the speed is­sues they have in Tiger Bren­nan drive per­haps it might be time to look at in­stal­la­tion of some “traf­fic calm­ing” con­struc­tions. Garry

I hope the judge does more than a wet let­tuce slap on the wrist! The Gee

Pic­ture: IS­TOCK

Ideally it’s best not to make a com­plete fool of your­self in front of your co-work­ers at the of­fice Christ­mas party

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