Buenos Aires

AMODERN city with an old soul, Buenos Aires offers everything you could possibly want in a capital, at 1994 RSL prices. Looking like Paris but feeling like New York, its history is as fierce and fab as its fashion, everywhere you look is ‘Gram fodder, the bars are siiiick and the food will make you want to marry your own tongue. And it’s easy to get around (Uber rides are $AU2.70, bus trips are 5 cents).

Here’s your checklist for the best of BA.

Head to the posh neighbourhood of Recoleta and see ‘the most beautiful cemetery in the world’ according to like, everyone. Walk the labyrinth of over 6000 grave-mansions where the multi-levelled tombs have domes, carved statues, marble altars, stained-glass windows, skylights and even chandeliers. Some look like mini-Baroque cathedrals, some look like Toorak mansions, and some seem to have come crawling out of a Stephen King novel.

DO: pay for a guided tour to get the highlights which include Evita’s flower-strewn monument, and the tomb of a woman buried alive who tried to claw her way out. Argh!

Buenos Aires Museum of Modern Art had me thinking their artists eat LSD for breakfast. Founded in the 1950s, this modern-art collection from Argentina is bizarre: a flying ship with two heads, melting machinery that looks at you, interactive audio of screams (why!?), moving clothes made of pig skin and a room with a floating peanut, were the most normal things I saw. Only $AU1 it is bloody brilliant.

DO: head 15 minutes across town to the Malba Gallery for less insane but still nutso works, from the likes of Frida Kahlo and Picasso (who definitely had acid for lunch and dinner too).

See the tango in the streets of La Boca — the dodgiest neighbourhood in the city. Postcardperfect during the day, wander the vibrant rainbow streets of eclectic shanty dwellings, buy drinks from street vendors selling from eskies, grab a souvenir from a market then take a seat at any of the brightly painted outdoor restaurants … and, wait. Live musicians and tango dancers will suddenly appear to perform, for tips (and pose for photos). While definitely touristy, it is a beautiful, fun, half-day visit.

DON’T: stick around after sunset — not even BA residents go here at night.

Book worms have replaced ballerinas and opera singers at Ateneo Grand Splendid — an old theatre transformed into what most de