Bushranger

All Greek to Kon

AN untimely Freudian slip from Darwin Lord Mayor Kon Vatskalis may have caused as much panic as coronavirus this week, after referring to his new street cleaning team as the “Greek Army”. Given the Lord Mayor’s Greek roots, some may have questioned whether he was announcing an impending conflict in the Top End. We can’t give the head of council too much grief however, with the Green Army a fantastic initiative to maintain our streets during uncertain times and provide much needed jobs to his ratepayers.

Wright royal welcome

MATT Wright’s beloved crocs got a bit angsty this week when the Wrangler dropped in to say hi. Otis, the 4.5m saltie, was not impressed with the welcome party and lashed out, biting Wright’s airboat. While leaving some hefty marks on the boat, Otis came off second best chipping one of his chompers.

Darwin’s close call

DARWIN may well have dodged a coronavirus bullet when the cruise ship the Artania visited on February 29. Fortunately when it arrived here there were no coronavirus cases on board. Just under eight weeks later and the Artania is responsible for 81 of WA’s total coronavirus cases. The number of coronavirus deaths from the Artania is four and the total number of fatalities in WA is eight.

Lawyer so hot it’s criminal

ONE Darwin media type revealed a penchant for the silver fox this week when the press pack was waiting for a certain hoary-haired lawyer to emerge from court. As the assembled hacks were describing the chap for the waiting camera operator the saucy scribe ventured “kinda hot” as her contribution. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, the lascivious lady of letters later remarked: “What’s criminal is that he’s not available”. Well played, madam.

No idle treat

A TOP End court reporter was left fuming with a southern-based copyeditor this week when a lexicographically challenged Sydneysider bungled the wording of a charge a defendant was facing. Last time we checked, “making a treat to kill” – while potentially delightful and terrifying at the same time – does not yet constitute an offence under the NT’s Criminal Code. Bushie couldn’t help but wonder if some law reform may be required in this area.

Don’t stand on ceremony

CAKE is arguably the best part of a birthday. This week one Top End birthday girl made some delicious cupcakes to celebrate her big day, and when it came time to blow out the candles she found one cupcake eating another. It’s a cupcake-eat-cupcake world and Bushie wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.