Can tech stop loneliness?
THE CONNECTION BETWEEN TECHNOLOGY AND FEELING ISOLATED IS COMPLICATED.
FORGET SMOKING CIGARETTES or stuffing your face with bacon — one of the biggest avoidable killers is loneliness. Don’t take our word for it: one study found that loneliness can increase the risk of premature death by up to 30%. The world is more connected than ever before, and yet more and more of us feel isolated. Can technology help or is it part of the problem? Are we lonely because of technology or despite it? The answer is like a Facebook relationship status: it’s complicated.
THE SADNESS OF SOCIAL MEDIA
Newspapers may have exaggerated the issue for scary headlines, but multiple studies suggest that spending too much time on social media isn’t good for our mental health. Like most technology, it’s not so much the technology itself that’s the problem as how we use it.
Writing in Psychology Today, David Ludden PhD notes that there’s a lot of conflicting research. “It’s certainly true that a number of studies have found a connection between social media use and declines in wellbeing,” he says. “But other studies have found opposite results, with people feeling more socially connected as they spend more time on social media.”
Ludden quotes research that identifies two kinds of social media behaviours that seem to be detrimental to our mental health: “social snacking”, where you browse through profiles and comments without engaging, something that wastes time you could be spending talking to others, and “self-comparison”: forgetting that celebrity Instagram pic that’s making you feel inadequate is the only good one out of 200 other shots, and is the work of 32 makeup artists, a lighting technician and posibly the world’s most expensive plastic surgeons.
But technology doesn’t have to make us feel bad — its ability to connect people can be a powerful force for good.
HUG YOUR HARDWARE
The Guardian reckons that in the future, you might hug a robot, but its guide to beating loneliness has some more practical tech advice too. It highlights the value of friendship apps, such as Meetup, which enable us to connect with like-minded people.
It’s not just apps, of course. Social media has been helping people come together since the days of USENET, and today’s website forums and message boards share their DNA with AOL chatrooms from back when the internet was steam-powered. It’s been particularly powerful for minority groups: for example, if you’re LGBTQ in a small town, you might not know of any like-minded people locally, but if you go online you’ll find a supportive family of millions. Whatever your passion, technology enables you to connect with others who share it.
OLD DOGS, NEW TECH
Loneliness is particularly prevalent in older generations. For this group technology could be a real boon, but often it isn’t. The problem isn’t that older people are spending all day comparing themselves to others on Instagram; it’s that many aren’t connected in the first place. Janet Morrison, the chair of the Campaign To End Loneliness, points out, “the impact of technology on loneliness for older people has been hotly disputed, with some arguing that the increasing use of technology has exacerbated the exclusion of older people, while others point to the vital role that technology can play in enabling older people to maintain and develop their social connections”.
A HELP OR A HINDRANCE?
In his TED talk, psychologist Guy Winch describes how you can use your everyday technology to escape from the loneliness trap. “If you feel socially disconnected, go through your phone and email address books, and your social media contacts, and make a list of people you haven’t seen or spoken to for a while,” he says.
“If you feel emotionally disconnected, make a list of five people you’ve been close to in the past. Reach out to them and suggest getting together and catching up.” And when you do reach out, be positive: say “Let’s grab a coffee!”, not “You haven’t been in touch for months!”
And, of course, it’s not just about the people you already know. Technology can also find you the Meetup, the open mic, the dance class, or the photography group you never knew you even needed...
IF YOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTED, MAKE A LIST OF FIVE PEOPLE YOU’VE BEEN CLOSE TO IN THE PAST. REACH OUT TO THEM AND SUGGEST GETTING TOGETHER AND CATCHING UP.