Ridiculous tech
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Vapegasm VAPERBATING IS THE LATEST SEXUAL INNOVATION FOR TELEDILDONICS.
US$20 | www.camsoda.com/products/vape-gasm/ If telidildonics is too pasé to get off on, then maybe it’s time to add some flavour into the mix... specifically, some vape flavour. The Vapegasm, as you may have guessed form the subtle portmantu, is the unholy matrimony of a vape pen and a range of Bluetooth connected sex toys from Lovesense. “Considering how much euphoria [vaping] provides people with, it only makes sense that we couple it with sexual stimulation” said the VP of the adult webcam streaming company behind the VapeGasm app and pen, CamSoda. We wonder if Vapegasim will become the post-sex ciggie of the ‘Netflix and Chill’ generation.
Qoobo A ROBOT COMPANION CUSHION … WITH A WAGGY TAIL.
US$319 | qoobo.info/index-en/ While most of us think that the happiness we get from pets comes from being responsible for a living creature that appreciates attention and companionship as much as we do, Japanese robot manufacturer Yukai seems to think our elation comes from a much simpler place … their tail. Qoobo is a US$319 companion cushion that is covered in fur and comes with a meticulously engineered tail that wiggles when you pat it. This waggy love sack is ‘clinically proven’ to reduce negative emotions in the 38 people that were internally tested by the company. We’re all for happiness remedies, but a ‘tail therapy’ cushion is a little too much of a tall tale.
MOAI G2T N1 ELECTRIC HEATING AND COOLING SCARF THIS SCARF 2.0 WILL MAKE YOUR NECK HEAPS HOT.
$194.31 | www.amazon.com If you would sign a change.org petition to “Force hipsters to return the scarf to the function over form community!” then read on, as this next piece of neck-warming tech is for you. While it might look more like an electric-shock collar than something you would voluntarily wear in public, the Moai G2T N1 Electric Cooling and Warming Scarf at least has a catchy name. But this cyberpunk scarf doesn’t just make you look like you’ve had your voice box surgically removed, according to the company it can also cool or heat your neck by a few degrees (depending on the conditions).
FORD SELF-BREAKING TROLLEY THIS COLLISION-AVERSE TROLLY IS ANYTHING BUT A HIT.
$TBC | fordeurope.blogspot.com Just in case you thought that mankind could still be salvaged if we put our best engineers to the world’s biggest problems, we’d like to remind you that they are actually already working on a self-braking shopping trolley, courtesy of Ford. In addition to putting the brakes on any potential joy that may have been salvaged by children forced to endure another monotonous journey to the supermarket, this ingenious invention gives Ford’s marketing chimps all the banana skins they need to make us slip into hearing a spiel on the company’s Pre-Collision Assist technology. How exciting this Brave New World is.