Can tech help me train my fighting skill?

Alright, reader. You want to fight? Guru will see you outside, bub. Except he won’t, because in truth GaGu is actually some kind of pathetic shivering jelly, terrified of anything even resembling combat. Spook him and he faints like a goat, at which point you’re basically free to kick him in the face. Please don’t. He has a note from his mum.

Even more supremely punchable than GaGu is the classic Century Bob (between around $500 and $750, depending on if you want the big one), which is basically an eerie and extremely ugly armless flesh-coloured man, sliced-off at the waist and jammed on to a base. The tech doesn’t stretch far beyond ‘you can punch this’, and Guru may not follow the promo photos and drag Bob out to a wasteground in order to kick him in the chops, but you could.

Something fancier, you say? Please don’t look at Guru like that. Why not try the Bruce Lee Slam Man, which is neither a man (it resembles a frightening yellow robot mannequin) nor suitable for practicing your bodyslams. Instead, its various lights map out a pattern for you to batter, helping improve your accuracy and violence speed.

If you prefer to roll, the Grappling Smarty seems like the thing: it doesn’t do anything, as such, other than laze about in a guard position waiting for you to snap its limbs – pick one up if you want the true ‘having a fight with GaGu’ experience.