Giving birth GAVE ME PTSD
Bree has suffered devastating long-term problems
Bree Hicks, 33, Minchinbury, NSW
It won’t be long,’ my husband Ryan, now 34, said. I was in labour with our first baby and it was going smoothly.
‘You’re fully dilated,’ the midwife nodded 11 hours in.
But then the monitor went off saying my baby’s heart rate had dropped.
A doctor decided my bub should be vacuumed out.
Tugging and yanking, he brought our baby, a little girl we called Ruby, into the world. I didn’t get to meet her, though.
‘We need to take you to theatre to repair your tear,’ I was told.
Hearing it should take just 40 minutes, I opted to have no general anaesthetic.
Shockingly, I was still being stitched up four hours later. I had a fourth-degree tear that went up into my rectum, which could cause long-term problems.
And it got worse. My blood pressure was so low, internal bleeding was suspected. Heading back into surgery, I was given three blood transfusions.
‘You’re too sick to meet your daughter today,’ the nurse said afterwards.
The next morning the pain was unbearable, but I grimaced through it as I held Ruby for the first time.
I needed another two blood transfusions that week before I was wheeled out of hospital in a chair six days later because I couldn’t walk.
This is not how it’s meant to be, I thought, tearfully.
The next six months were terrible. I couldn’t move or walk properly but the nightmares were the worst.
Haunted by frightening dreams of the birth, I spoke to my GP.
Seeing a psychologist,
I was diagnosed with PTSD.
It’s been two years but certain things still trigger me, mainly medical situations.
I’ve had four more surgeries to repair damage to my perineal and rectal areas.
It’s been hard physically and mentally. If the next procedure is not successful, I’ll need a colostomy bag fitted.
I love Ruby to bits, but I don’t know if I’ll ever have another child.
I urge other women to seek help if they are still stressed and anxious weeks after birth. It’s good to know you’re not alone.
I had terrible nightmares of the birth