Se­cret Story

Af­ter 10 years of mar­riage and two sons, Steve, 41, didn’t want an­other baby

that's life (Australia) - - Contents -

Iwant an­other baby,’ my wife He­lena an­nounced, sit­ting bolt up­right in bed. We were on a week­end away cel­e­brat­ing our 10-year wed­ding an­niver­sary.

Re­ally? I thought, shocked. With our amaz­ing sons, Seb, seven, and Nathan, four, I thought we’d com­pleted our fam­ily.

‘This isn’t a pass­ing thought,’ she ex­plained. ‘I’m 39, this might be my last chance.’

He­lena was due to go on hol­i­day with a few friends, but once she got back she wanted us to give it a go.

‘Let’s try un­til I’m 40,’ she added. ‘And if noth­ing hap­pens, you can get the snip!’

Meet­ing in our late 20s, we’d both been keen to have kids.

‘I want two boys and a girl!’ He­lena would say when­ever the sub­ject was brought up.

‘I only want one, a boy,’ I’d tease.

So in the end, we’d set­tled on two. Or so I thought.

Now, we had our hands full with our lively and lov­able sons.

With school runs, ac­tiv­i­ties and meal times, there wasn’t much chance of a breather.

Ev­ery so of­ten, He­lena had dropped hints about hav­ing one more bub. But I didn’t think she was all that se­ri­ous. Plus, I re­ally wasn’t sure.

I don’t like the idea of hav­ing a new­born with sleep­less nights and nap­pies again! I thought.

Af­ter He­lena’s bomb­shell, I promised her I’d think about it.

Get­ting home af­ter our ro­man­tic week­end for two, we didn’t talk about it again un­til He­lena left for her 10-day trip a few weeks later.

He­lena’s mum, Clare, was com­ing to stay that night to help me out for the first five days while I had work, but af­ter that it was just me and the boys.

‘Video call me ev­ery day!’ He­lena said. ‘I’ll miss you all.’

Giv­ing me a fi­nal hug, she whis­pered in my ear.

‘When I get back, can we start try­ing?’ she asked.

‘Okay,’ I said, kiss­ing her good­bye. ‘Un­til you’re 40.’

But the truth was, I didn’t think an­other baby was right for us.

Life was busy enough, and I wanted to en­joy watch­ing the kids we al­ready had grow up.

An­other baby would be more ex­pense too.

The next morn­ing, I left the house early.

‘I’m go­ing to head to the gym be­fore work,’ I said to Clare. ‘See you tonight for din­ner.’

By 8.30am, I was sit­ting in a clinic.

‘You’ll be a bit sore for a few days and should ab­stain from sex for a week or two, but you’ll be fine,’ the doc­tor ex­plained.

And, with a few snips, my chances of giv­ing He­lena an­other baby were over.

When I called He­lena later, I didn’t en­joy keep­ing my se­cret va­sec­tomy from her.

Know­ing she’d end up dis­ap­pointed was hard, but I hon­estly be­lieved it was for the best for the whole fam­ily.

Now, she’s about to turn 40 and I know in time she’ll ac­cept that an­other bub just wasn’t meant to be.

And I’ll be keep­ing tight-lipped about my se­cret snip!

Life was busy enough and an­other baby would be more

ex­pense

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