I had a baby without a cervix!
Sitting across from my new partner, Mark, I took a deep breath. ‘I want us to get a sexual health check,’ I said carefully.
We’d only been together a month, but being a PE and health teacher, I knew how important it was to get regular checks.
‘Let’s do it together then,’ he smiled.
At a clinic, I had a smear and pap test.
Soon after, the doctor called me with the results.
‘There’s some abnormal cells,’ she explained gently. ‘We need to do further tests.’
I hung up the phone, feeling unbearably anxious.
At age 40, I was desperate for a baby – and this seemed like bad news.
After more tests, and having a piece of my cervix cut out to be examined, I sat down with my surgeon.
‘You have stage three cervical cancer,’ he said.
Suddenly, I felt the room spinning.
If I wasn’t in a chair my legs would have buckled beneath me.
I didn’t know much about cervical cancer, but I did know one thing. I’d need a hysterectomy. Feeling sick, my eyes welled up with tears.
‘I want a family,’ I confessed to the surgeon.
He then offered me a minuscule glimmer of hope.
As the cancer hadn’t reached my lymph nodes yet, there was an option to avoid having a hysterectomy.
Instead, I could have a radical trachelectomy.
It meant I would lose my cervix but keep the rest of my reproductive system – preserving my fertility and the ability to carry a baby.
It’s my only chance, I thought.
Back home, Mark and I had a chat.
‘You can walk away, you know,’ I said sadly.
He looked incredulous. ‘Why would I do that?’ he asked me.
My heart swelled with love and I squeezed his hand.
This was supposed to be our honeymoon period and now I was battling cancer.
Six weeks later, I was booked in for the trachelectomy.
Waking up, I suffered with painful infections and had to use a catheter.
I was an absolute mess – but Mark didn’t leave my side. He was my knight in shining armour.
‘After this, I want to try for a baby,’ I told him.
He had two adult children already, so I didn’t know what he’d say. But Mark knew it was my dream.
‘Let’s do it,’ he said, bundling me into a hug.
In early 2013, we started IVF. My body had already been through hell and back, but I wanted a baby so much.
It was a whirlwind of blood tests and injections.
Finally, we had six viable embryos.
I was ecstatic – at my age it was so rare to have so many!
Over the next year, we had IVF five times. But five times in a row, my body failed me.
I just kept hearing the same
My body had been through hell and back