Lost that lov­ing feel­ing

The Advertiser - SA Weekend - - UP -

THE OTHER DAY my kids watched the movie about the gor­geous Ex­tra Ter­res­trial who is try­ing to get home. They loved the film, but didn’t re­ally get it.

“Why did the alien get lost? Didn’t he have space­based Google maps?” “Why couldn’t he just ring home on his iPhone?” Given that it’s Os­car sea­son, it got me think­ing about whether some of my other favourite 1980s movies have stood the test of time.

In the ‘ 80s, teen movies were a riot of bitchy cheer­lead­ers, slack dopers, clue­less par­ents, sporty jocks and rich snobs.

Back then, cool boys were called Blane and Ren, teens worked in record shops af­ter school, and the lat­est thing in mo­bile phones was the Mo­torola Dy­naTac 8000X, which weighed nearly a kilo­gram and was 25cm long.

In 1980s movies, you got to see James Spader be­fore the botox, Ni­cole Kid­man back when she had frizzy red hair and freck­les, and Jon Cryer when he was dorky Ducky rather than one third of the

More im­por­tantly, the 1980s was a time be­fore so­cial me­dia, iTunes, mo­bile phones, the in­ter­net and re­al­ity TV.

We still bought vinyl discs, lis­tened to cas­sette tapes and talked to friends on our par­ents’ home phones in the kitchen.

So how do the movies of the 1980s stack up to­day, and how has the world changed since then? Let’s start with one of the best:

which shows cool-kid Fer­ris wag­ging school to spend time with his best mate and girl­friend.

It just wouldn’t work th­ese days as the school – not to men­tion his par­ents – could track his ev­ery move­ment by iPhone.

In any case, Fer­ris, a lov­able ego­ma­niac, wouldn’t be able to re­sist putting his an­tics on YouTube to im­press his mates left be­hind in the class­room.

Same goes for which is about five mis­fits – a brain, an ath­lete, a bas­ket case, a princess, and a crim­i­nal – who spend Satur­day detention to­gether in their school li­brary.

Th­ese days, th­ese kids wouldn’t spend the time in detention get­ting to know one an­other; they’d be too busy putting self­ies on Instagram and post­ing sta­tus up­dates on Face­book.

The idea of Satur­day detention is also an­cient his­tory. Schools would have a law­suit from par­ents if they tried to pull any­thing like that to­day.

Be­sides, most schools don’t have li­braries any­more. They have in­for­ma­tion tech­nol­ogy in­te­grated learn­ing cen­tres in­stead.

Let’s turn to which fea­tures slacker dudes who use a time ma­chine to help them pass a his­tory test for school.

The movie was billed as: “His­tory is about to be rewrit­ten by two guys who can’t spell”. Clearly, there are some ma­jor mod­ern-day is­sues.

Kids don’t need a time ma­chine to get their his­tory homework done. They’ve got the in­ter­net to tell them ev­ery­thing they need to know, such as the fact that Joan of Arc wasn’t Noah’s wife (as Bill and Ted claim).

Th­ese days, kids don’t need to be able to spell thanks to the bril­liance of spellcheck.

And a lot of teens don’t write es­says any more, they just cut and paste pas­sages from the in­ter­net.

is an­other movie that teens to­day would find mys­ti­fy­ing. It is based around the mis­ery of try-hard teen Sa­man­tha, whose par­ents for­get her birth­day amid the lead-up to her per­fect sis­ter’s wed­ding. That would never hap­pen to­day thanks to Face­book’s birth­day re­minders and iPhone cal­en­dars.

The movie is also mem­o­rable for its sex quiz, with tan­ta­liz­ing ques­tions such as “Have you ever touched it?” and “Have you ever done it?”

Nowa­days there is no need for se­cret quizzes about sex to be passed dur­ing class. Thanks to sex­ting, ev­ery teenager’s sex life is now an open book – or at the very least an open group text.

is the same. The fly­ing scenes would work, but they’d have to re­place that pick-up scene in the bar with Tom Cruise (Mav­er­ick) right-swip­ing Kelly McGil­lis (Char­lotte) on Tin­der.

The scene where he fol­lows her into the ladies’ room and ser­e­nades her with would also have to be rewrit­ten. Th­ese days she wouldn’t date him af­ter that, she’d re­port him for sex­ual ha­rass­ment.

It does make me wish I was rais­ing my own kids in a sim­pler, slower time, like the 1980s.

Give me Fer­ris over Face­book, and over Tin­der any day. Blog with Susie at Susieobrie­n.com.au, Face­book.com/Newswith­Sue and fol­low her on Twit­ter @susieob

over Google

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.