Don’t hate me be­cause I’m pret­tier than you

The Advertiser - SA Weekend - - FRONT PAGE -

The way you look makes a big dif­fer­ence to how peo­ple per­ceive you and treat you.

Would Kim Kar­dashian be as suc­cess­ful if she had a face like a half-eaten pie?

Would Kate Mid­dle­ton be Duchess Kate with an over­bite, acne and lanky hair?

Would Amal Clooney have bagged the most fa­mous bach­e­lor in Amer­ica if she wasn’t beau­ti­ful as well as brainy? No, no and no. And yet any woman who is brave enough to ad­mit their good looks brings them ad­van­tages, ad­mi­ra­tion and at­ten­tion is treated like a pariah.

If you are ugly and say the way you look makes a dif­fer­ence, you’re a hero. It doesn’t make any sense. The latest woman to come un­der at­tack for telling the truth is Feli­cia Czochanski, pic­tured, who de­scribes her­self in as a be­ing “5-foot-5 with blonde hair, big hazel eyes, 34DDs, and toned calves”.

“Com­ing to terms with be­ing per­ceived as ‘beau­ti­ful’ wasn’t easy. It soon be­came how peo­ple knew me. Peo­ple seemed to for­get or sim­ply ig­nore my ac­com­plish­ments,” she writes.

“I de­mand to be re­spected, both my body and my mind, be­cause be­lieve it or not, there’s more to me than just my looks,” she says. Sounds fair enough to me. Her piece has gone vi­ral, at­tract­ing an avalanche of neg­a­tive at­ten­tion.

Czochanski has been called ev­ery name un­der the sun. Vain. A nar­cis­sist. Self-ab­sorbed. Blind. Self-cen­tred — and that’s just the ones I can put in print.

Given that the ad­van­tage of good looks is a wellestab­lished so­cial and eco­nomic fact, why do peo­ple find it so chal­leng­ing when some­one talks about what it’s like to be pretty?

Czochanski seems a lot more mea­sured than UK writer Sa­man­tha Brick who wrote a sim­i­lar piece a few years ago, lament­ing the fact that her “10 out of 10” looks made other women hate her.

Like Czochanski, she was lam­basted in the media and at­tracted thou­sands of neg­a­tive com­ments from around the globe.

Brick, I’d ar­gue, went too far, blam­ing her looks on ev­ery­thing from not be­ing asked to be a brides­maid to not be­ing asked to din­ner par­ties.

As I pointed out back then, her at­ti­tude rather than her at­trac­tive­ness was more likely to be the rea­son why peo­ple didn’t like her.

But there is no es­cap­ing the fact that the way you look does af­fect things. And no one seems to like it when good-look­ing peo­ple point this out.

Per­haps it’s be­cause mere mor­tals like me don’t like to con­sider the dif­fer­ence that be­ing spec­tac­u­larly good look­ing would have made to our lives.

As some­one who had a par­tic­u­larly bru­tal ado­les­cence on the looks front, only to emerge as sort-of-OK in my 20s, I have ex­pe­ri­ence both sides of the looks di­vide.

As a teen I was dorky, and still had bad skin and braces well into year 12. Luck­ily the light­ing at Blue Light dis­coes was, well, blue, which was very flat­ter­ing to some­one with zits and me­tal teeth.

At that stage I was con­sid­ered a “good pack­age”, which meant I had a good enough per­son­al­ity to make me pass­ably good look­ing af­ter the boy had downed a six­pack of wild peach wine cooler.

Fast for­ward a few decades, and I now have the ben­e­fit of ex­pen­sive high­lights, good make-up and a de­cent wardrobe.

On the set of I look like Car­rie Bick­more’s fat­ter, older, shorter sis­ter, but at least they haven’t used the soft-fo­cus lens on me yet.

I’m never go­ing to be writ­ing pieces lament­ing that I am too good-look­ing, but I am able to ac­knowl­edge that the way I look has been a plus pro­fes­sion­ally.

I’ve par­tic­u­larly no­ticed a dif­fer­ence when I’ve had the ben­e­fit of TV light­ing and pro­fes­sional pho­tog­ra­phers, which are great friends to any woman over 40.

It goes to show that with the right help just about ev­ery­one can be gor­geous, so there’s no need to feel re­sent­ful about how oth­ers look.

So would I give it all up to look like a su­per­model with Czochanski’s 34DD breasts? You betcha. Of course I would. Blog with Susie at susieobrie­n.com.au, fol­low her on Twit­ter @susieob and Face­book.com/ NewswithSu­se

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.