WITH MARTY SMITH

THE LAST WORD

The Advertiser - - OPINION -

MOUTHING OFF

(1) Laugh­ter is the best medicine: A lit­tle girl and a lit­tle boy are at kinder­garten. The girl ap­proaches the boy and asks: “Do you want to play house?” He says: “Sure, what do you want me to do?” She replies: “I want you to com­mu­ni­cate your feel­ings.” The lit­tle boy is be­wil­dered. “Com­mu­ni­cate my feel­ings? I have no idea what that means.” The lit­tle girl nods and says: “Per­fect. You can be the hus­band.”

(2) Howler: “An au­to­bi­og­ra­phy is the his­tory of cars.” (3) Old-timer: Old brick­lay­ers never die, they just throw in the trowel. (4) In the Twit­ter­sphere: “In 2019 I just want some­one to build a wall be­tween me and my re­frig­er­a­tor.” – US lawyer Preet Bharara. (5) I am not mak­ing this up: Gi­raffes get kid­ney stones.

IN­SIGHT

“Talk less. Smile more.” – T-shirt mes­sage.

QUOTE, UNQUOTE

“It’s a bright fu­ture, if you’re an al­go­rithm.” – US sci­ence and tech­nol­ogy en­tre­pre­neur Kevin Slavin.

KEEP­ING COUNT

8199 – the num­ber of di­vorces in Canada in 1947.

JUST A THOUGHT

By the time your ship comes in, all your rel­a­tives are wait­ing on the dock.

RE­MEM­BER WHEN

To­day is Jan­uary 15, Rid The World of Fad Di­ets and Gim­micks Day and the 15th day of the year. There are 350 days re­main­ing un­til the end of the year. On this day:

1909: Jazz drum­mer Gene Krupa, who opened doors with his left hand be­cause he re­garded it as un­de­vel­oped, was born in Chicago.

1915: Sculp­tor John Dowie, who died in 2008, was born in Ade­laide.

1953: From the Port Lin­coln Times: “Mr E.A. Hup­patz, of Dublin St, Port Lin­coln, has a potato plant grow­ing in his gar­den with small fruit re­sem­bling toma­toes on it. As the ‘toma­toes’ have not yet ripened, it is not known whether they are ed­i­ble.”

1954: From the col­umn Where the Fish Are Bit­ing in Ade­laide’s af­ter­noon news­pa­per The News: “Nice hauls of snook have been taken off Glenelg this week. Catches of up to 10 dozen have been re­ported and an­glers are hav­ing the time of their lives. Snap­per have ap­peared off Sel­licks, Aldinga, Port Noar­lunga and Moana. Rock fish­ing fur­ther south of Nor­manville is still pro­vid­ing good sport.”

1971: The Aswan High Dam in Egypt was of­fi­cially opened.

1974: The sit­u­a­tion com­edy se­ries Happy Days pre­miered on US tele­vi­sion.

1982: Ra­dio sta­tion 5AD listed Let’s Hang On, by US singer-song­writer Barry Manilow, as Ade­laide’s No. 1 hit sin­gle.

1998: From The Ad­ver­tiser: “Elec­tric­ity con­sumers will be asked to use less power dur­ing heat­waves as South Aus­tralia con­fronts a loom­ing sup­ply cri­sis … Suf­fi­cient power is be­ing gen­er­ated by Op­tima En­ergy or im­ported into South Aus­tralia to meet peak de­mand, but backup ca­pac­ity is lim­ited when break­downs oc­cur.” 2008: US ac­tor Zac Efron was ad­mit­ted to hos­pi­tal for an emer­gency ap­pen­dec­tomy. 2008: From the front page of The Daily Tele­graph news­pa­per in Lon­don: “Di­ana, Princess of Wales, ex­plored the pos­si­bil­ity of a se­cret wed­ding to Has­nat Khan, the heart sur­geon with whom she had a two-year re­la­tion­ship, her but­ler (Paul Bur­rell) told the in­quest into her death yes­ter­day.”

2018: US co­me­dian Fahim An­war tweeted: “Saw a giant car deal­er­ship sign with their Sales­man of the Month’s pic­ture up so you know who to avoid when you walk in I guess.”

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