WITH MARTY SMITH
THE LAST WORD
(1) Laughter is the best medicine: A little girl and a little boy are at kindergarten. The girl approaches the boy and asks: “Do you want to play house?” He says: “Sure, what do you want me to do?” She replies: “I want you to communicate your feelings.” The little boy is bewildered. “Communicate my feelings? I have no idea what that means.” The little girl nods and says: “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
(2) Howler: “An autobiography is the history of cars.” (3) Old-timer: Old bricklayers never die, they just throw in the trowel. (4) In the Twittersphere: “In 2019 I just want someone to build a wall between me and my refrigerator.” – US lawyer Preet Bharara. (5) I am not making this up: Giraffes get kidney stones.
“Talk less. Smile more.” – T-shirt message.
“It’s a bright future, if you’re an algorithm.” – US science and technology entrepreneur Kevin Slavin.
8199 – the number of divorces in Canada in 1947.
JUST A THOUGHT
By the time your ship comes in, all your relatives are waiting on the dock.
Today is January 15, Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day and the 15th day of the year. There are 350 days remaining until the end of the year. On this day:
1909: Jazz drummer Gene Krupa, who opened doors with his left hand because he regarded it as undeveloped, was born in Chicago.
1915: Sculptor John Dowie, who died in 2008, was born in Adelaide.
1953: From the Port Lincoln Times: “Mr E.A. Huppatz, of Dublin St, Port Lincoln, has a potato plant growing in his garden with small fruit resembling tomatoes on it. As the ‘tomatoes’ have not yet ripened, it is not known whether they are edible.”
1954: From the column Where the Fish Are Biting in Adelaide’s afternoon newspaper The News: “Nice hauls of snook have been taken off Glenelg this week. Catches of up to 10 dozen have been reported and anglers are having the time of their lives. Snapper have appeared off Sellicks, Aldinga, Port Noarlunga and Moana. Rock fishing further south of Normanville is still providing good sport.”
1971: The Aswan High Dam in Egypt was officially opened.
1974: The situation comedy series Happy Days premiered on US television.
1982: Radio station 5AD listed Let’s Hang On, by US singer-songwriter Barry Manilow, as Adelaide’s No. 1 hit single.
1998: From The Advertiser: “Electricity consumers will be asked to use less power during heatwaves as South Australia confronts a looming supply crisis … Sufficient power is being generated by Optima Energy or imported into South Australia to meet peak demand, but backup capacity is limited when breakdowns occur.” 2008: US actor Zac Efron was admitted to hospital for an emergency appendectomy. 2008: From the front page of The Daily Telegraph newspaper in London: “Diana, Princess of Wales, explored the possibility of a secret wedding to Hasnat Khan, the heart surgeon with whom she had a two-year relationship, her butler (Paul Burrell) told the inquest into her death yesterday.”
2018: US comedian Fahim Anwar tweeted: “Saw a giant car dealership sign with their Salesman of the Month’s picture up so you know who to avoid when you walk in I guess.”