Mum tells: “Why I had breast implants at 46”

In March this year, 46-year-old mother of two Kelly Baker decided to have breast implants. Five years of breastfeeding had taken their toll and Kelly longed to regain her bust. Here, in a candid confessional, she explains why she did it, the pain involved

IWAS 39 YEARS old and a mother of two when my husband and I broke up. I did my best to present a brave face and, at night, when my boys, then aged three and five, had drifted off to sleep, I told myself that I would meet another man, fall in love again, maybe even marry.

Truthfully, though, I had my doubts. When I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I didn’t see how it could happen. Yes, I was fit and strong, thanks to many years of running and a dedicated yoga schedule, but my eyes were sunken and the worry seemed to float around me in clouds.

Worse, after breastfeeding two children for five years straight, I had absolutely no breasts to speak of. I couldn’t fix the emotional pain – I had no idea how – but perfectly pert breasts were do-able, I told myself. So within months of my husband moving out, I made a decision. I would get breast implants the very second I had both the emotional and financial capacity to do so.

The months crept by and I survived. I got up each morning, wrapped my boys in my arms at every opportunity and did my best to find pleasure in the small things. I even dated from time to time.

I found a boyfriend and spent time laughing and trading stories with my girlfriends, like women do. It probably looked as though I was taking my new life in stride, but my confidence was devastatingly low and undressing in front of my new man was gut-wrenching.

I obsessed about my body, which I saw as unattractive. The father of your children might find the hallmarks of childbirth romantic, but another man? No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t feel the slightest bit sexy and I feared it showed. Then I worried about that.

I tried to put my breasts, or lack thereof, out of my mind. Yet every time I read anything about implants, or a friend would mention them,

I was fixated. Intellectually, I knew that implants weren’t the answer. Even in my muddled emotional state, I was aware that what I probably needed was a talented therapist who could help me grow to value who I was – how I was. I set about finding one and started seeing her regularly.

Slowly, I came to believe that being attractive and sexy was more of a mindset than any physical feature. Occasionally, I reconsidered breast implants, but something more important would come up. Like paying the mortgage or caring for my boys or doing my job to the best of my ability.

Then, roughly five years after my husband and I had split up, I met another man and this time it was different. This was true love. Not surprisingly, I felt no doubts about my body when I was with him.

Still, I told him I was considering breast augmentation, as the operation is officially called. He had very strong thoughts on the matter. He didn’t think it was a good idea and told me I was perfect just as I was. He meant it, too. It was then I realised that this was something I wanted to do – for nobody but me.

I saw Sydney plastic and cosmetic surgeon Dr Michael Miroshnik the following week. We had met before in the course of my work as