DIARY of a NEWLY regal beagle
When Guy was saved from a US shelter by Meghan Markle, he went from underdog to right-hound man. Now at Kensington Palace, he exclusively shares his diary jottings.
Just got off the dog and bone, that’s Cockney for phone – Meg says we have to learn the people’s English, not the posh stuff spoken around court. Boy I miss Bogs [Bogart, the Labrador cross Meghan left with friends in Toronto] and feel kinda guilty that I landed the royal pedigree and he stayed in the colonies. Meg said he was too old to travel. I’ve had my dog days too. Breaking two of my legs at Christmas made me sick as a ... well, a dog. Round here when the corgis feel under the weather Her Majesty takes them on a brisk walk around the gardens. Exercise is the thing, the royal vet said.
LIGHT BULB.
Meg and Harry were heading off to watch the UK Team trials for the Invictus Games yesterday. Perfect, I thought – I’ll go too and show them my doggy paddle. But Meg said she didn’t want to encourage the pawparazzi.
I had to stay home. Fortunately, Lupo was at KP so we played tag in Kensington Gardens with Prince George and Princess Charlotte. George was running amok, saying he was in charge when his dad was out – which he was. He persuaded Nanny Maria to get us all an ice-cream. Meghan would have gone bananas ... she never lets me eat ice-cream.
Oh, did I mention that Meg and I are binge watching
The Crown? Genning up on the new family. We turn it on every time Harry goes out. I know no one believes her when she says she didn’t know much about him, but she really didn’t. The Crown was Candy’s idea – she belongs to Her Majesty. Not sure if Harry would approve, but it’s actually really good.
I have a confession. I love Candy. I haven’t let on to Meg. It’s the dorgi thing, the mix of dachshund and corgi, that pointy nose is so adorable. I remember admiring it when she was on the cover of Meg’s copy of Vanity Fair two years ago. Hard to believe I’m now one of the Palace pack.
Yikes, time to go, Harry’s home and he’s cooking ... chicken again!
Monday, April 16
Oh diary, what a terrible day. Her Majesty’s corgi Willow is gone – she was in the famous skit when The Queen met James Bond. Willow was put to sleep last night. Everyone’s in tears. M&H were heading over to Windsor Castle for wedding stuff so I jumped in the back of the car.
LIGHT BULB.
Opportunity to see sweet Candy. When we arrived Vulcan and Candy looked incredibly hang dog, sitting in their baskets with piles of tissues watching the video of Willow’s James Bond moment over and over.
Monday, May 14
Meg went for a final fitting for her dress earlier today. Everyone is sworn to secrecy but she wanted a second opinion, so took me along on the proviso I didn’t write a word to you, diary. So this is all I’m going to say. She was a sight fur my sore eyes ... T’wit t’woo.
Next we went to Violet Cakes to do some tasting. That Claire Ptak is a cool cookie. She knew I was coming and had baked some special sugar-free doggy biccies.
Meg still hasn’t told me what my role will be or if I’ll be in the Chapel at all! I want to be her page dog. The Queen’s all for it and so is the Duchess of Cornwall, who by the way has two lovely Jack Russells, Beth and Bluebell. They are rescue dogs just like me and Bogart.
Friday, May 18
I can’t believe the wedding’s tomorrow. Turns out George got the page boy gig with Charlotte as bridesmaid. Probably a good thing. The new bub Prince Louis is getting all the attention in the Cambridge house. It’s been quite a week for Meg too with her dad not coming. But it turned out really well for me. I’m at Windsor Castle as I write this and guess who is looking after me – The Queen! I even sat in the car with Her Maj. But best of all I’ll be watching the wedding with Candy. I feel a proposal coming on.