EDITOR’S LETTER:

from The Weekly’s Nicole Byers

“So when is baby number two coming?” I’ve been asked this regularly over the past five years. At various times work associates, friends and even my dentist have probed me about when I’d be going back for a second pregnancy. I’ll never forget a cheery supermarket cashier insisting loudly – while ringing up my groceries – that I should hurry up and give my poor then-three-year-old a sibling. For weeks afterwards my daughter told everyone she was getting a baby sister, which led to some red-faced backtracking at day care pick-up! I know this was just harmless small talk – but it stung every time. Because what people didn’t know is that I’d been trying my best to get pregnant – naturopaths, compulsive temperature taking, the works. We succeeded on several occasions, only to be deposited firmly back to earth when each pregnancy abruptly ended.

Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am, and that there are many women who wish desperately to be mothers but can’t. And also that there are families of one (or none) by choice. To infer, however offhandedly, that their little families fall short seems unfair and unkind. Yet when my daughter started kindy this year and well-meaning parents and teachers asked, “Is she your first?” ... I hated the apologetic tone in my voice when I told them, “Actually, she is my only.”

In fact, I couldn’t imagine having any other family. I guess my point is that it’s wise to think before you make assumptions on the sensitive subject of parenthood. We can never know what’s going on for other people.

This can be especially true for those in the public eye, which is something our gorgeous cover star Sylvia Jeffreys (page 14) can attest to. After a less than simple path to pregnancy the first time, imagine her surprise and joy at being pregnant with number two before her first born’s first birthday! People may good-naturedly be telling her and husband Pete they’re “nuts” to be having two boys under two.

I just say congratulations and enjoy every minute. Love and family is truly a gift, no matter what form it comes in.