Calm within the storm
IT HAPPENS OFTEN ENOUGH, YOUR CALM IS PUSHED AND YOU SNAP AT THE KIDS. THESE CAIRNS PARENTS SHARE HOW THEY TAKE A STEP BACK TO UNDO THE DAMAGE
KIDS NEED TO LEARN THAT PARENTS ALSO NEED TIME OUT. SET THEM A TASK TO COMPLETE OR MAYBE A MOVIE TO WATCH. YOUR OWN TIME OUT COULD BE READING A BOOK, A GLASS OF WINE, GOING FOR A SWIM OR A WALK. YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THE REASON FOR THE BLOW-UP AND WORK ON A PLAN WITH YOUR CHILDREN SO THAT IT DOESN’T HAPPEN AGAIN. AFTER EVERYTHING CALMS DOWN, THEN DO A FAMILY ACTIVITY.
I TRY TO SLOW DOWN. MY DAUGHTER HAS TAUGHT ME JOY AND FUN CAN BE FOUND ANYWHERE. WHY CAN’T WE GET DRESSED STANDING ON MUMMY AND DADDY’S BIG BED? WHY NOT INDEED.
I UNWIND WITH SOME MUSIC, HOUSEWORK AND MAKE SURE I GIVE MY KIDS BIG HUGS TO REASSURE THEM THEY ARE LOVED.
WHAT I DO IS EXACTLY WHAT I TEACH MY SON TO DO – WHEN HE’S UPSET OR ANGRY, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND COUNT TO 10. THE OTHER OPTION IS WINE.
I TAKE MYSELF FOR A WALK BETWEEN WHEN I FINISH WORK AND BEFORE I START MY PARENTING ROLE. IT HELPS ME TO SHAKE WORK OFF, DO SOMETHING HEALTHY JUST FOR MYSELF AND MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH. I THEN FEEL CALM AND READY TO TACKLE THE EVENING AHEAD. I ALSO LIKE TO TALK AND HUG THINGS OUT WITH THE KIDS.
IN THE MOMENT, IF IT’S REALLY BAD, I TAKE A BREATH, LOOK AT THEM BUT SAY NOTHING UNTIL I’VE GATHERED MY COMPOSURE, THEN I REACT. IT USUALLY CALMS ME ENOUGH TO BE REASONABLE. GETTING DOWN ON THEIR LEVEL BEFORE I SPEAK SOMEHOW CALMS ME TOO, MAYBE BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME HOW SMALL THEY ARE.
GARDENING IS MY PEACE (SEEING AS I DON’T DRINK WINE ANYMORE). I CAN SPEND HOURS OUT THERE WORKING MY BUTT OFF AND NO ONE COMPLAINS. ALSO SWIMMING TRAINING. IT’S A WHOLE HOUR WHERE I DON’T HEAR THE WORD MUM ONCE.
I ALWAYS FIND TALKING TO MY MUM ON THE PHONE HELPS REASSURE ME THAT EVERYONE GOES THROUGH THIS. SOMETIMES JUST GOING OUT THE FRONT YARD AND WATERING MY GARDEN OR TALKING TO A NEIGHBOUR HELPS.
AT HOME, I WILL WALK AWAY, PUT SOME ROOM BETWEEN MYSELF AND MY CHILD. THEN I’LL GO TO THE GARDEN AND DO SOME WATERING. I FIND IT RELAXING AND I CAN THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AND WORK OUT A PLAN OF ACTION.
SEE LIFE FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE. PUT ASIDE GROWN-UP WORRIES TO CRAWL AROUND. BE A SUPERHERO, HAVE A TEA PARTY, WATCH CARTOONS OR EAT ICE CREAM.