Helping kids deal with tricky emotions
TOWNSVILLEBASED CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST CAROLYN SERI HAS COME UP WITH A COLOURFUL WAY TO DEAL WITH BULLYING, WRITES
IMAGINE a world where all children know how to stand up to a bully, and all children know how to navigate the notso-nice elements of a schoolyard.
That’s what north Queensland psychologist Carolyn Seri envisions.
The mother-of-two has created a program, called ZingPinMe, which aims to help children not only with emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy and fear but also with issues such as bed-wetting, bullying, internet safety, issues with family breakup and grief.
ZingPinMe is a group of loveable colourful characters – Z Dilly, Ralphie, Basil, Cino and Rosie – that aim to help children address a range of emotional and functional problems.
“Each character struggles with their emotions, mirroring a child’s own emotions and the struggles they present,’’ Carolyn says. “ZingPinMe allows children to examine their emotions through play, reading stories and interacting with a variety of creative tools and strategies designed to deal with unwanted emotions.”
Carolyn says Dilly, the main blue ZingPinMe character, helps kids with anti-bullying strategies.
“Dilly is super sensitive, and there are also a group of characters in my stories for young children called The Meanies,” she says. “The Meanies are always up to no good and say really mean stuff,” she says.
“The ZingPinMe characters have found a way to neutralise the bullies. One of Dilly’s favourite bullying neutralisers is to say: ‘Oh that’s OK if you’re mean, I am just going to be myself anyway and treat you nicely’.
“Children are going to have conflict, so giving them the skills to manage it can only be helpful.”
The respected psychologist says she has noticed a higher incidence of children reporting they are the victims of bullying.
“Bullying is always going to be an issue in society, but it is certainly different in even the last three years, with the growing world of the internet and social media,” Carolyn says.
“Bullying is more accessible in current times. Apps and internet sites are becoming more sophisticated and parents just aren’t keeping up.
“Bullying doesn’t just happen in the schoolyard. It happens at 3am when your child gets up to go to the toilet and they check their phone.
“It’s a huge worry to think your child could be bullied at a time where they can’t access support.”
As parents, it’s important to keep up with the current information and Carolyn suggests one of the best places for this is www.esafety.gov.au.
“Children have way more access and exposure in regard to violence and bullying,” she said. “There are more and more incidents of innocent children being bullied and being recorded to post on social media. There is personal reward for posting and getting ‘likes’ on posts.
“Videos of violence get a lot
of traffic, therefore rewarding and encouraging the worst types of bullying behaviour.”
But Carolyn says parents play a crucial role in ensuring their children feel comfortable speaking out about any bullying they may experience.
“The drive to and from school can be a very useful time to initiate talk time,” she says. “Also a quick chat before bed as part of a routine works well.
“Kids look forward to special one-on-one time. Make incidental time you have with your children count. Turn it into quality time by putting down your own phone and sending your child a message – you are here for them and listening.
“Even for the busiest parent, five minutes is not a long time, but added up over a year, that is a lot of time you are learning about your child’s world.”
Carolyn says there is a “prevalent and concerning” number of young children who are suffering from anxiety and depression.
“It is certainly something I get referrals from all over the region on a daily basis,” she says. “Parents make the trip to Townsville to seek help for their children who are suffering with anxiety and depression. They’re often at their wits’ end looking for help. I’m not sure if it’s an increase or just people are more aware and want to get help. Whatever the case, it is prevalent and concerning.”
Carolyn puts the prevalence of depression and anxiety in young children to children “maturing way more quickly” these days.
“Children are being exposed to things that are literally stealing their childhood away,” she says.
“So many children are addicted to the internet and are not using their imagination and play to explore the world.
“When the world throws something stressful at them, they haven’t learnt to cope.
“Other reasons could be the pressures that are on children. The curriculum at school, homework, extra-curricular activities – where is the time to play, explore and relax?
“Many families have two full-time working parents. Everyone is stressed and tired and just doesn’t have the time or energy for making mental health a priority.”
But Carolyn says parents can help a child who is anxious and depressed.
“Teach your children what anxiety and depression is,” she says.
“I teach my kids about the limbic system and the amygdala (the body’s fight-or-flight system). This gives children a window into themselves and they can understand and name what is going on in their bodies.
“The next thing to work on is helping children to measure their anxiety. Have a clear, easy, go-to management plan.
“I have some great resources with my characters that address just this. The feedback over the years is that kids love to be able to measure their emotions. It gives them control to bring it back down.”
Carolyn says she is confident her ZingPinMe characters can help families overcome issues such as bullying and depression.
“I am working on my website (www.zingpinme.com) and moving from a static website to something where people will be able to access an online service via subscription and free content.
“It will give parents everything they need to get things started for an in-home mental health program.
“The website developers are hoping it will be complete in the next five months.
“The puppets will form a big part of this website and will be there to build a rapport with children and give them information about emotions and how to deal with them.
“One feature will be that the puppets will be able to send personalised messages to children, helping to motivate and support them.
“My hope is that young children in hard-to-reach areas in Australia will be able to have access to a top service.”
SO MANY CHILDREN ARE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET AND ARE NOT USING THEIR IMAGINATION AND PLAY TO EXPLORE THE WORLD. CAROLYN SERI