The Chronicle

Enjoy goal process

- DENNIS J HOIBERG The Resilience Whisperer

WANT to lose weight? Want to travel? Want to have a happier relationsh­ip? Want to achieve your business targets? “Set goals” we are told.

I say don’t worry about the end result – focus on what you have to do and how you need to behave to achieve that goal.

I see so many people set their goals and then stress out about whether they are able to achieve them.

By all means, set goals. There can be little argument as to the value of setting goals. Our brains need that focus to direct our energies and behaviours.

Let me warn you – setting goals is the easy bit.

Some people will also tell you to set goals and then be positive... wrong!

Resilient people focus their activities and energies on the process – not the outcomes.

I believe the most effective thinking style that supports goal setting is what I call being “realistica­lly optimistic” rather than positive.

We have little or no control over outcomes or results but we have maximum control around what we do.

Break up the journey towards your set goals into sections – a long journey starts with a few short steps. Put time lines around each of these steps – make sure they are realistic and acceptable to you. Make the time lines challengin­g but not too demanding – they should challenge you, not stress you.

If it helps, makes sure the first steps are easily achieved so their accomplish­ment boosts your confidence – bank this confidence in your “feelgood jar” as sometimes along the journey you can make some withdrawal­s to get you through the more challengin­g times.

Identify how you need to behave to achieve your goals.

What should your daily routine be? What habits and behaviours do you need to start, stop and keep you moving along the journey?

Develop the habit of regularly asking yourself – will this action or decision take me closer to or further away from my goals?”

If closer, embrace it – if further away then ask yourself – “is it worth it?” Can you make a slight detour on the journey without having a substantia­l effort on the end result?

What help do you need along the way to remind you of your end destinatio­n? We all have strengths as well as areas where we need help and support. What support do you need to achieve your goals?

Is it in the form of other people – a personal trainer, an advisor, or a good friend to keep you on the path? Do you need additional skills or knowledge and if so where is the best place to get this from?

You are not alone. Being resilient is about being prepared to ask for help and when that help comes along – saying yes.

Accept it while acknowledg­ing karma – what goes around comes around.

It may be you asking for support now but next time it may be other people asking for support from you.

These are just some of the things you can do to focus on process. Do these things and the world will look after you.

You have no control over an outcome – only the actions you take to achieve it!

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