HAVE A LAUGH

Train ride

There was an Australian, an Englishman and a beautiful brunette sitting together in a train carriage, taking in the scenery as the old historic steam train wound its way up through the mountains.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, being an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages.

While the carriage was in complete darkness, there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, the brunette and the Australian were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face which now bore a bright red mark where he had been slapped.

The Englishman thought to himself, “The Australian must have kissed that gorgeous brunette and she missed him and slapped me instead.”

The brunette thought, “The English bloke must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Australian and got slapped for it.”

And the Australian grinned to himself and thought, “This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I’ll make another kissing noise and slap that English fool again.”

No treatment

Doctor: I am sorry I can’t treat your ailment!

Patient: Why doctor? Is it that serious?

Doctor: No. Your ailment was not covered in my medical study book.

Patient, trembling in fear: Which book was that?

Doctor: How to become doctor in 30 days!

Undercover

A tourist asks a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”

“No, I am an undercover detective.”

“So why are you in uniform?”

“Today is my day off.”