Frazzle-free Christmas
Psychotherapist Melissa Ferrari shares her tips for not burning out over the holidays
NO SOONER than Halloween is over, then Christmas looms.
If, like many parents, you are already beginning to dread the never-ending list of tasks you have to do before the big day and your children are already preparing their extensive Christmas wish lists, then perhaps it is time to take a deep breath and pause for a moment to consider the real meaning of Christmas.
In this busy age of hustle and bustle, it can often feel that organising a family Christmas is just another thing ‘to get through’. Often, the planning and organisation falls to mums and we carry the burden of the whole day on our shoulders. It can seem that everybody in the family is looking to you to lay on the perfect Christmas meal, fabulous entertainment and gifts galore.
While we want everybody, including ourselves, to have a great day, we can become frazzled in the process. Yet, by taking a step back before you plunge into the Christmas countdown, you can take the chance to consider a familycentric approach to Christmas planning that can give everyone the opportunity to be involved, allowing for learning and loving along the way.
Here are some tips to guide you:
1. Rally the troops
Hold a family meeting to discuss the expectations and wishes around Christmas. Make it a fun time when everybody has their chance to say what they would like to eat, do, drink, play on the day.
Give everybody the chance to have at least one of their (realistic!) wishes planned for the day.
Talk about the to-do list, then allocate jobs. That way, everybody has a part to play in the planning and preparation. Just like in the workplace, it’s much easier if you have your team on board from the start and also it gives children a sense of involvement and ownership of a task, seeing it through from start to finish, which can instil a sense of achievement and confidence.
2. Plan it out
Get the kids to help you create a ‘Christmas Countdown Wall Chart’. Grab some coloured markers and allocate dates to everybody’s tasks.
Kids love to get crafty – let them decorate the wall chart with Christmas motifs then hang it on the wall for everybody to enjoy.
3. Give, not get
With the emphasis on presents, it’s all too easy for our children to see Christmas as being all about what they can get. Yet, even though this is one of the busiest times of the year, Christmas can also offer a wonderful opportunity to teach children the value of giving.
Purchasing gifts for sick children, helping wrap presents for the homeless, or volunteering at a local fundraiser can help children learn the importance of helping others and also enable them to feel gratitude for their own lives while instilling a sense of involvement in the local community.
4. Say no
These days, children are wellversed at asking for a new technology gadget or the latest upgrade and it’s so easy to get drawn into giving them what they want because, well, it’s Christmas.
Yet there is real value to be had by saying no and encouraging your child to ‘sit out’ the latest version/upgrade/release. Allowing children to enjoy what they already have can help them learn the value of acceptance without being sucked into the constant drive/strive for the latest and greatest, or the ‘next thing’, which these days, so often drives our consumerist society.
5. Praise
Children love to feel rewarded for good behaviour and for their accomplishments. During busy times, it’s so easy to forget to acknowledge good behaviour, but remembering to do so can help encourage more of the same, helping to create a happy and harmonious vibe in the home.
6. Conflict resolution
One of the biggest sources of conflict among couples with young children is disagreements over behaviour management. Often, one person may consider the other’s methods too strict, or not strict enough.
During family holidays when we are all home together for extended periods, it pays to sit down with your partner ahead of the holiday and agree on a suitable method between you. That way, in the heat of the moment, you can support each other to help defuse any tensions without ruining the day.
7. Create traditions
Christmas is a special time for families to come together and celebrate their close bond. Whether it’s enjoying a special meal on Christmas Eve, making a cake or singing carols, creating little rituals and traditions that are unique to your own family can help create happy memories for many years to come.
Visit www.kidspot.com.au for more family advice.