WHAT’S A DILL TO DO?

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, YOU CAN DEPEND ON DICKO TO EDUCATE YOU IN THE FINER POINTS

“WE CAN BE SURE THE PARTY THAT HAS THE RECORD FOR THE MOST DEFECTORS SINCE THE COMMUNIST PARTY HAS JUST LOST I TS LATEST.”

Aweek is a long time in politics. This week some politicians found a day can be a long time in politics.

As usual, Malcolm Turnbull lost favour with voters almost as fast as he lost members of his party.

Both are accelerating to the point where he could be rolled as Liberal leader. Except that Julie Bishop is the only likely contender who might – just might – be able to garner more votes than him.

But as those dual citizens falling from trees all over Canberra push us closer to another general election, a leadership challenge is not a good idea.

Nor is an election for either major party, but they may be dragged kicking and screaming to the polls. A bit like us, really.

And with that in mind, Bill Shorten has continued to keep only one foot in his mouth, not opening it even when there is an opportunity to change feet.

Makes it hard to lose an election.

Bill figures he can stay quiet and there’s a fair chance he will soon experience the joy of being prime minister.

And will then start the usual business of a declining success score and tumbling approval rating. Cue knife sharpening by colleagues.

So as the dust settled on the first lot of dual citizens who failed to read Section 44 of the Constitution, One Nation got a new senator and either ejected him or he defected in his first hour in the Senate.

Being One Nation and involving Pauline Hanson and Fraser Anning, it is hard to tell what was going on. But we can be sure the party that has the record for the most defectors since the Communist Party has just lost its latest. Any other facts – just make them up, please.

My fave federal “fact” this week came from none other than the fiery one who referred to her favourite ex-senator Malcolm Roberts as having “opposed climate change”.

In fact, Roberts had opposed the existence of human- enhanced climate change. But we can’t expect Hanson to pick the difference.

That party also took out the award for the most tacky political stunt in years for its Queensland education platform.

The party plans to get rid of the Safe Schools program that’s being taught in Queensland primary schools. Except it isn’t being taught there, apparently.

It includes instructing girls in Year 4 how to masturbate and how to don a strap- on.

What? Say that again slowly. Actually, don’t ever say it again. It’s too ridiculous for words.

But thanks to Steve Dickson – state leader of the party – girls in Year 4 have now heard of a strap- on and masturbation.

I can just see the delight as parents answer their kids as they do homework for This Week in the News.

The statement from Dicko was backed up by reports from an authoritative source – one unnamed parent.

This is the party that refuses to believe several thousands of scientifically verified investigations showing humans have increased the rate of global warming, leading to climate change.

But then the party doesn’t believe vaccination works all that well either.

Not a lot of polio, whooping cough, smallpox etc around these days, Dicko.

Take it from a man who was close to dying of whooping cough as an infant before we had immunisation.

Vaccination works. Polio was common then. Not now. Smallpox? Gone. Check out our website for more opinion columns.