That’s using your noodle
I AM not a nervous person, but there is one thing I find difficult. Well, two actually.
The first is bridges. I don’t know why, but every time I cross a bridge I have serious anxiety. Apparently it’s called gephyrophobia, or a fear of bridges. The second is significantly more common – I simply can’t stand noisy eaters. It makes my skin itch, my eyes water and my brain boil over.
That condition is called misophonia, and it’s an ironic state of mind for someone whose life is spent crafting food. And while the violent maceration of open-mawed Neanderthals around a dinner table may be bad, the worst place in the world for me is a ramen restaurant.
Dozens of people surrounding me slurping slippery noodles through squeakingly pursed lips, while puddles form on the table tops as yawning mouths spill bursts of too-hot broth and torn pieces of seaweed in a serenade of splashes.
Agony. Sheer agony. Especially as I really love a great bowl of ramen. So it came down to a choice between two options. Either I make ramen at home, and my pork and tofu ramen is pretty spectacular, if I do say so myself. Or the alternative, one I’ve taken to with gusto – earphones.
It may be anti-social, but now you can all slurp and sputter and I will listen to a podcast and be none the worse for it.
We all get ramen, and I maintain my sanity.
PORK AND TOFU RAMEN serves / 4 Ingredients
300g piece pork tenderloin 2 tsp sesame oil 1 brown onion, very finely diced 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 green chilli, seeded and finely diced 8cm piece ginger, cut into fine batons 1½L chicken stock 2 tbsp soy sauce 4 eggs 1 pkt (270g) soba noodles 1 cup sugar snap peas, trimmed 2 bunches English spinach leaves 300g silken tofu Coriander leaves, sliced bamboo shoots and toasted sesame seeds, to serve
Method
1. Score the pork tenderloin in fine parallel lines with a sharp knife. Heat the sesame oil in a large saucepan and cook until browned on all sides. Add the onion, garlic, chilli and ginger, then cook for 3 more minutes. Pour in the stock and soy sauce, then simmer for 5 minutes. Remove the pork and set aside.
2. Meanwhile, place the eggs in a small saucepan of cold water and set over a high heat. Bring to a boil, then cook for 5 minutes. Refresh in iced water, then peel and halve.
3. Cook the noodles in a large pot of rapidly boiling water for 3 minutes, until just tender. Drain well and divide between four bowls. Add the sugar snaps and spinach to the soup, then ladle over the noodles. Break the tofu into pieces and add to the bowls.
4. Carve the pork and arrange on top with the egg, then garnish with coriander, bamboo shoots and sesame seeds.