Toowoomba’s not that alien to visitors after all

IN A week in which 1.5 million people registered interest in joining the “storming” of the top secret US Air Force’s Area 51, one’s mind turned to extra terrestrials.

Not that I’m a believer in ET or any other gender equal alien from outer space visiting our planet any time soon, but there are plenty of UFO enthusiasts around the world who believe Area 51 houses spacecraft and the remains of aliens who have crashed on Mother Earth.

To think, these beings are so intelligent and sophisticated to cruise through the universe from planet to planet, negotiating all sorts of asteroids and space junk hurtling around our solar system yet they always seem to crash in the Nevada desert in the US.

You’d think by now they would have put a galactic stop-sign above Nevada and landed elsewhere but that’s not what the UFO people consider, among their number a large proportion no doubt of Apollo 11 moon landing sceptics.

Mind you, going by the response of the US Air Force to the potential invasion of Area 51 by thousands of UFO nutters, aliens would be the least of their problems.

I like the measured response of the US Air Force which put out the statement: “Any attempt to illegally access the area is highly discouraged.”

By “highly discouraged” see “we’ll blast your ass to bits”.

Yet, while not a believer in alien invasion, I couldn’t help wondering just what sort of reception would such aliens get if they landed in Toowoomba.

“Perhaps that’s what those bloody ugly obelisks in Ruthven St are after all – landing pads for spacecraft,” I

‘‘ IMAGINE IF OUR ALIEN FRIENDS LANDED THEIR SPACESHIP IN RUTHVEN ST DURING THE CARNIVAL OF FLOWERS PARADE.

thought.

I can see the head alien alighting from the flying saucer saying: “We come in peace. Take me to your leader.”

Only for a Toowoomba Regional Council parking inspector to reply: “You can’t park there, mate!

“It’s an hour limit and what’s more you’ve parked across three parking spaces.

“And, the parking meters are all expired.

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to give you a ticket.”

Even an alien with superior intellect to the average earthling would give up arguing with our parking inspectors after a while, realising it’s a lost cause.

They’d probably just chuck the ticket into the glovebox of the spaceship too where it would remain unpaid — like so many a Toowoomba motorist.

However, I somehow think our extra-terrestrial visitors wouldn’t stay long in the Garden City.

I mean, these beings have mastered space travel from outer galaxies but let’s see them negotiate Ruthven St during 5 o’clock peak-hour traffic.

“Bloody hell!” one could hear through the English translators as our space traveller visitors get stuck in traffic at the Ruthven/Margaret St lights.

“I knew we should have taken our chances and landed in the Nevada desert – at least Area 51 has decent accommodation.”

Imagine if our alien friends landed their spaceship in Ruthven St during the Carnival of Flowers parade.

No-one would notice, the crowds figuring it was just another carnival parade float which would still come in second to the Heritage Bank entry.

“Yeah, nice costumes and flying in like that was pretty impressive, but it’s hardly believable,” one carnival float judge would be heard to say.

One thing is certain that if an alien space craft landed in Toowoomba this week, the occupants of the craft would step outside, then head back in and zoom off back into the universe.

“Too bloody cold and windy!” the English translator would ring out.