HAVE A LAUGH

AN ELDERLY looking gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, do I come here often?”

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Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me.

I want people to know why I look this way.

I’ve travelled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

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A frustrated wife told me the other day her definition of retirement:

“Twice as much husband on half as much pay.”

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A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”

“Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,” said the wife.

The fairy moved her magic wand and – abracadabra – two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”.

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and –abracadabra – the husband was 92 years old.