Slay the negativity

WHY are some people are so negative?

How do they justify being negative and critical?

“Oh Dennis, it’s human nature” is the response I hear. Is it? And if so, why? Wouldn’t our relationships, families, businesses and world be a better place if we were more positive and constructive in our communication, mindset and behaviour?

Maybe it’s something to do with winter, but I am really noticing the number of negative comments about people, the traffic, our civil leaders and so on.

Can we all try to be more positive?

As always, any form of change starts with the individual – me.

To help people be more positive in their communication, I have developed the Den indicator (based on Zen) that asks the question: Does it matter? It can help you consider the impact of your thoughts and actions on your life experiences.

My Den indicator is an equation of positive perceptions/experiences (10) minus the negative perceptions/experiences (scale of 1–10).

An example. That driver who cut into your traffic lane and caused you to brake suddenly – where does it rate on the Den scale?

Does the potential danger of having to brake suddenly (the negative) outweigh the joy you have of driving your car on a sunny day listening to your favourite music (the positive)?

Stop and imagine where the rating truly sits on the scale of a minor inconvenience to catastrophic experiences.

If the rating is 5 or below, it’s a negative experience and needs to be seen as such. If, however, the rating is above a 5 then don’t worry about it, let it go and enjoy being positive.

Another technique is to always assume positive intent.

I don’t think there are many people (there are some, but a minority) who deliberately act based on negative intent.

So, assume people have the right intentions and work from there.

Don’t let a minority influence the way you deal with the majority.

Of course, while they may have the right intentions, their behaviours/actions may cause you some grief.

In such cases, focus on the behaviour. Find out or imagine the possible reasons for the behaviour and their intent.

A simple conversation based on “benefit of doubt” can result in an extremely positive interaction and eliminate your negative emotions.

Most people, in my experience, are trying their best.

Yes, it may not come across that way but I believe most people are trying to do the right thing with the resources and experiences they have had and in the context they are operating in.

If we come from a position of love and positivity, we will end in a position of love and positivity.

If we start from a position of negativity, we can only end in negativity; and possibly in even worse states of anger and bitterness, which will only reduce your wellbeing.

Feel the love and slay the negativity demon.