I WAS PLANT SHAMED
MY GREENERY GETS LOTS OF LOVE AND ATTENTION, AND IS GROWING UP HAPPILY, DESPITE WHAT VISITORS MIGHT THINK
“G reat place,” he said, bobbing his head around the corner and into the lounge room. “Thanks!” I replied, a little too enthusiastically. I was nervous about him coming over. I’m nervous about anyone coming over. My home makes me vulnerable, it’s an extension of me.
I fluffed the pillows on the couch anticipating his arrival. I don’t really know why, I guess I’d seen it on an episode of
Desperate Housewives.
“Yeah it’s heaps good, shame about the plants though.”
My heart sank.
A shame about the plants? What could possibly be “a shame” about the 11 lights of my life, scattered in an organised chaos across my lovely little flat?
The floor creaked as he took another step, ripping me out of my inner tirade. He crouched beside my Golden Cane Palm and knelt at its underside. He collected its drying leaves between his fingers.
“You should really prune the dead bits,” he said, with his stupid mouth. “It looks like it’s had a rough winter.”
In my one-bedroom apartment are 11 plants. Upon those are hundreds of leaves, and thousands of water beads I’ve lovingly spritzed, humming to them Cat Stevens and caring for them completely.
The colour green collects every corner of my home. My plants entangled themselves in happy little knots, twisting and twirling towards the sun. They’re blissful, I know they are.
Dead leaves happen. In fact, dead plants happen. It doesn’t make you any less a mother because your children aren’t perfect. I love them, I’m proud of them. And yet there I stood, shamed over them.
Mummy-shamers are intrepid. They judge someone’s capacity to love and parent, based solely upon one small and imperfect insight.
It’s almost laughable the toll it took on my self-esteem. To be knocked for something I thought I was so good at.
I now know exactly how Meghan Markle must feel in the wake of all backlash she has had to endure after every public experience, clutching baby Archie. We are the same. You can’t tell me otherwise.
I did prune that Golden Cane Palm on the weekend. Not because I was advised to, because I knew it had to be done. I’m a good plant mum. I know what I’m doing. And when I don’t, I know that’s OK – parenting is a process.
My 11 children are complicated, but they’re special. I refuse to let any comment, however well-intentioned, feel like a jab.
I’m doing the best I can, and I know my kids love me for it.