Court battle over names
WITH ONLINE SEARCHES FOR ‘DIVORCE’ AT A HIGH, MORE PARENTS ARE SEEKING TO LEGALLY CHANGE THEIR CHILDREN’S SURNAMES
Lockdown and money stress has triggered a worrying family break-up trend: more parents battling in court over the surnames of their children, experts say.
Determined to give their names to their sons and daughters, warring parents are going to Family Court to get a surname change made legal.
Family Law expert Fiona Reid says it is an expensive battle, with no guarantee of success.
She says to go through to a final hearing in a drawnout court battle is expensive.
“You’re looking at least $100,000, probably,” Reid says.
With Australia’s divorce rate predicted to skyrocket as the effect of COVID-19 on finances and relationships pushes some marriages over the edge, Google searches for the term “divorce” were, in early January, at their highest in two years.
A birth certificate registers a child’s surname and can only be altered with consent of the parents and by a court order, or if the other parent is not listed on the paperwork.
Reid says it pays to get it right at the start, by talking about it during the pregnancy. Options then can include hyphenating the surname or adding it as a middle name.
“I’ve had situations in the past where one of (the child’s) parents has been involved in criminal activity that has been highly publicised, (which are) circumstances that may be appropriate to change that child’s surname,” Reid says.
“Or if a child has been brought up by a stepfather and has no connection with his or her biological dad, and it makes them feel more a part of that new family to have his or her stepfather’s name.
“Then again, that may be an appropriate reason, but the focus needs to be on the benefit to the child changing his or her name, not the benefit to the parent.”
Surname confusion is something with which mother of two Rachael Scharrer is familiar, particularly when she took her children on a holiday to Canada.
“I didn’t take on my ex-spouse’s last name when we married, so the children and I travelled with different last names,” she says. “Despite having orders and written consent from the father (my ex-husband), the Canadian authorities gave me a tough time to ensure that I wasn’t relocating, and I was planning to return to Australia.”
Scharrer says the decision to change her children’s surname was initially met with hostility from her “traditional” ex-husband.
“When I initially approached my ex-spouse about altering the children’s last name, he was furious and not open to considering it,” she says.
“I wanted my children to have their last name reflect the parent and extended family that were very involved and active in their lives.
“I met the emotional, financial and physical needs of the children. “I felt that it was worth asking.” Scharrer says she was prepared to do whatever was necessary to have her input as a parent reflected in the identity of her children, and has since gone on to establish her own business, divorceanswered.com.au, to help other parents navigate their separation. “My advice is to be strong. Persevere – an opportunity may present itself for you to change your child’s name, especially if you have good reason to. “But those who can’t change their child’s name, remember that regardless of what your child is referred to, they are still a part of you, and they will always have a part of you in them.”