Brilliant and also cautionary tale

FAKE

Author: Stephanie Wood

Publisher: Penguin Random House

RRP: $22.99 Reviewer: Mary Ann Elliott

AS WE advance further into the digital age, we have seen romance scams become increasingly more common.

With continued technological advancements, COVID-19 lockdowns and greater popularity of online dating apps, scammers are finding it easier than ever to deceive others into thinking they are in a real relationship before manipulating them into giving them money.

Data from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission revealed Australians lost a record $56 million to dating and romance scammers last year.

Netflix’s series such as the Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna have showcased a rise of interest in true crime stories of online scams and deceptions. There have also been a number of recent podcasts exploring this issue such as Who the hell is Hamish? Catfish and Snowball.

Women the world over are brought up to expect to find the man of their dreams and live happily ever after. Despite the immense popularity of online dating, hopes are often dashed. Why and how?

In her disarmingly candid book, Stephanie Wood relays her own story, embarking on a romance with a man who seems compassionate, loving and honest.

However she becomes increasingly stressed by his frequent cancellations and bizarre excuses.

After ending the relationship Stephanie reboots her journalism skills and discovers a story of mind-boggling duplicity and manipulation.

As Alain de Botton says in his Essays in Love, “We fall into love upon insufficient material and supplement out ignorance with desire”.

Stephanie finds that she is far from alone; she meets and talks with many women who have suffered at the hands of conmen, many of whom are narcissists and fantasists, skilled in the art of delusion and deception.

Her final chapter titled The Getting of Wisdom, brings her to a state of renewed confidence and calm; indeed she is more wary, cynical even, but important lessons have been learned and Stephanie offers them generously.

Still chasing the dream but more chastened by her experiences, she quotes: “Fortunate is the woman who has the man she needs; more fortunate is the woman who doesn’t have the man she does not need”.

Hers is a brilliant cautionary tale.