‘Man up’: Toowoomba man speaks against stereotype

AT JUST four years old, Daniel* was pushed into a world of anger, violence and humiliation.

For years, he would be subjected to mental, physical and sexual abuse.

Daniel said the domestic violence first began with his parents fighting in front of him, and despite not understanding the situation he was caught in, it would soon turn to emotional blackmail once his parents divorced.

In the years to follow, Daniel would find himself abused by former partners.

He said the women were frequently violent, sexually abusive and even conned him out of thousands of dollars.

Seeking help led to further complications, Daniel said, as many failed to take his situation seriously.

“I think there’s a stereotype, especially in Australia, that men who go through DV are weak and need to ‘man up’ and suck it up or leave,” he said.

“But it is so hard to do that and to stay away from it.

“I’ve found after a while I felt like I deserved it and that it was my fault I was going through it.

“I approached multiple people, including police, and was told to ‘man up’ and that I was an embarrassment.

“A few other times I confided in close friends even to find them gawking at me and making me feel alone.”

Daniel is now happily married to a woman who he said had saved him and showed him that he did deserve happiness and love.

“For those men going through DV, hold on. There is hope,” he said.

“It will take time, but eventually everything will fall into place.”

* Names have been changed to protect the victim’s identity