Bring in a points system for NRL commentators

Watching the NRL games on television, one is bombarded with statistics, whether it be tackle counts, tackle misses, penalty counts or metres gained.

However, while few viewers pay much attention to these stats, I reckon there’s a couple of further counts that should be added to the half-time and full-time stats.

In particular, I’d like to see a count of the number of times match officials, especially the bunker people, get it wrong, but more importantly I’d love to see stats on the number of times the footy commentators stuff up.

That last count might astound some people, not least the highly paid commentators themselves.

Every time the caller gets a player’s name wrong or stuffs up a penalty call or, in particular, makes a stupid comment, that should be added to the list and when that commentator reaches a predetermined number of mistakes he/she/they is given a yellow card and suspended from commentating duties for a week or two – just like the footballers on whom they rely for their earnings.

Just last weekend, one sideline commentator covering the Tigers v Cowboys match came up with this gem: “Kyle Feldt, the lone survivor of the 2015 Cowboys premiership team … along with Jake Granville who is also in the team tonight”.

Firstly, how can one be a “lone survivor” when there are two players from that grand final match playing in the team in that very game before him?

Never mind the “lone survivor” also has James Tamou and Jason Taumalolo who, though not playing in Saturday night’s game against the Tigers due to injury, remain in the squad along with Jake Granville.

And that particular sideline commentator could hardly claim to be an ex-player who has taken too many hits to the noggin as, far from being an ex-NRL player (which he isn’t), he’s an alleged sports journalist who obviously is bereft of the basic research skills necessary to be in that profession.

And, before some might start up with the “it’s not easy being a commentator” stuff, these guys are highly paid for their work, unlike certain court reporters who are not afforded the luxury of such mistakes.

No, I reckon a points system has to be introduced for these commentators, just like the players.

If a player racks up a number of missed tackles or dropped balls, the coach gives them the flick and that should be the same for footy commentators as well.

Personally, I’m thinking of implementing a yellow and red card penalty system for our weekly gatherings of mates at the pub when we’re on the punt.

Three losing horses brings a yellow card, five gets you the red card and you’re out.

However, getting back to all things rugby league as we head into the annual State of Origin series (or as my fruiterer mate calls it “State of the Oranges”).

In my annual rant, I still ask why is it that when the NRL comprises teams from Sydney, Newcastle, Canberra, Queensland, Melbourne and New Zealand (and possibly soon Perth) all the match officials – be they referees, touch judges or bunker officials – come from Sydney?

Like any true-blooded Maroons fan, I love a good conspiracy and come State of Origin, Queensland will again be at the mercy of Sydneybased refs, touchies and bunkerbums.

Remember the days of Queensland-based referees like Eddie Ward, David Manson, Tim Mander and the late and unforgettable “Grasshopper” Barry Gomersall.

Bring back The Grasshopper!