HAVE A LAUGH

BIGGER IS BETTER

A TEXAN farmer comes to Australia for a vacation. He meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.

The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”.

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those”?

The Aussie gives the Texan an incredulous look, and asks, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

SIGN LANGUAGE

A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator “Dogs must be carried on this escalator.”

The boy then spent the next two hours looking for a dog.

NAMING RIGHTS

Boy: My father’s name is Laughing and my mother’s name is Smiling. Teacher: You must be kidding? Boy: No, that’s my brother. I’m Joking.

HOME ADDRESS

Police: Where do you live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neighbour’s house?

Police: Where is your neighbour’s house?

Me: You won’t believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell me!

Me: Next to my house.