HAVE A LAUGH

The Chronicle - - Lighter Side -

MU­SI­CAL IN­SECTS

THE world’s lead­ing ex­pert on Euro­pean wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the as­sis­tant, “Do you have Euro­pean Ve­sp­i­dae Acous­tics Vol­ume 2? I be­lieve it was re­leased this week.”

“Cer­tainly,” replies the as­sis­tant. “Would you like to lis­ten be­fore you buy it?”

“That would be won­der­ful,” says the ex­pert, and puts on a pair of head­phones.

He lis­tens for a few mo­ments and says to the as­sis­tant, “I’m ter­ri­bly sorry, but I am the world’s lead­ing ex­pert on Euro­pean wasps and this is not ac­cu­rate at all. I don’t recog­nise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the cor­rect record­ing?”

The as­sis­tant checks the turntable, and replies that it is in­deed Euro­pean Ve­sp­i­dae Acous­tics Vol­ume 2. The as­sis­tant apol­o­gises and lifts the nee­dle onto the next track.

Again the ex­pert lis­tens for a few mo­ments and then says to the as­sis­tant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an ex­pert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recog­nise any of these sounds.”

The as­sis­tant apol­o­gises again and lifts the nee­dle to the next track.

The ex­pert throws off the head­phones as soon as it starts play­ing and is fum­ing with rage.

“This is out­ra­geous false ad­ver­tis­ing! I am the world’s lead­ing ex­pert on Euro­pean wasps and no Euro­pean wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!”

The man­ager of the shop over­hears the com­mo­tion and walks over. “What seems to be the prob­lem, sir?”

“This is an out­rage! I am the world’s lead­ing ex­pert on Euro­pean wasps. No­body knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by Euro­pean wasps!”

The man­ager glances down and no­tices the prob­lem in­stantly. “I’m ter­ri­bly sorry, sir. It ap­pears we’ve been play­ing you the bee side.”

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