Practical gifts for driving dads
FATHER’S Day — a grim cavalcade of compulsory commercial observance, as festive as an undercooked fried egg, strip of carbonised bacon and diarrhetic brown fluid presented in a coffee cup.
As eagerly anticipated as the tie you’d not be seen dead wearing in public and the book that will remain unopened until some undiscerning browser at the office $2 charity sale flips disinterestedly through it.
(Though for those intent on observing the ritual we present some excellent gift ideas within.) Around my way the custom is discouraged, because, every day is father’s day. (Is that sententious enough?)
If only the wretched day were publicly observed in some meaningful way.
If only, just for this day, police were allowed to patrol the roads to ensure the safe and smooth passage of users rather than snipe at them with radar guns from concealed positions.
If only the state ministers announced that the obscene sums accrued from road fines would be turned over entirely to driver training schemes and road infrastructure.
If only the ministers admitted that, yes, they kind-of know the whole ‘‘ speed kills’’ thing is an excuse to biff us for being a click over the limit and undertook to milk our purses in ways that are less transparently insulting and possibly even beneficial to the community.
If only said sinecure holders steeled themselves against the loss of hotel industry donations and implemented zero blood alcohol for all drivers at all times, as in countries such as the Czech Republic, which has a speed limit greater than ours but fewer fatalities per capitaw.
Knowing our children would thus have a greater hope of surpassing their father’s age would be a worthy gift indeed.
Happy Father’s Day from Carsguide.