Street racer, grand tourer and town car in one, the stylish Lexus GS F will also leave your hair extensions intact
We were running late and as we were about to rush out the door, I reached for a quick squirt of aftershave. Which way is the spray nozzle pointing? I wondered, staring at the bottle and pressing the plunger.
As it happened, it was pointing at me and I sprayed aftershave in both eyes.
This hurt quite a bit and, to my mind, justified my screams of pain and anguish and cries of “I’m blinded! I’ll never see again!”
“It’s like living with a child,” groaned my wife, leading me sobbing out the door. My eyes were still smarting as some time later I walked home behind my wife, who had met a friend with whom she was having a girlchat.
Suddenly a small, furry animal appeared to leap from her friend’s shoulder and land at my feet.
The women kept walking, so I stopped and stared. It had no discernible head or tail, so I poked it with my shoe and it rolled over. I was about to pat what I thought must have been a pet hamster when my vision cleared and I realised I was about to stroke a large clump of hair.
What does one do in a situation like this? Say, “Excuse me. Did you know your hair was falling out?”
I caught up with the two women and held out the hair. My wife took one look at it and screamed while her friend reached out, calmly took the hair and slipped it into her handbag.
The Lexus GS F can also be quite hairy but in an altogether nicer way, thanks to the 5-litre naturally aspirated V8 that has been squeezed into its engine bay.
This is a luxury street racer and highway grand tourer that can also negotiate the challenges of a shopping centre carpark, the four exhaust pipes and bright orange brake calipers hinting at its serious intent.
It’s beautifully put together, as a Lexus tends to be, with lashings of leather, ankledeep carpets, stunning paintwork and doors that clunk shut with the authority of a bank vault.
The dash is dominated by a large touchscreen and the instruments change colour like a kaleidoscope depending on the drive mode you select.
The suspension is quite firm, which translates into superb handling, but it can rattle your bones over your average Brisbane goat track.
The exhaust note is all growl and rumble, rising to a mechanical howl as you get towards the sharp end of the 7300rpm red- line and it will travel from zero to 100km/h in 4.6 seconds, but who will buy it?
Somebody, perhaps, who looked at the $250,540 sticker on a Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG or the $230,900 price tag on a BMW M5 Competition and thought the $148,800 ask for the Lexus quite reasonable.
The GS F will appeal only to those favoured few who like a raw edge to their driving and can afford to indulge their tastes and, I presume, buy some extra hair when required.
Firm suspension translates into superb handling but can rattle your bones over your average Brisbane goat track
The Lexus GS F has an ‘exhaust note that is all growl and rumble, rising to a mechanical howl as you get toward the sharp end of the 7300rpm red-line’.