JONATHAN CAINER WWW.CAINER.COM
Dear Jonathan, Do you predict the “Selfie Generation” will have a harder time than their predecessors at shedding the notion that their pictures represent who and where they really are, better than, say, a sunset? James ... Dear James, I’m not sure I know
ARIES MAR 21–APR 20 Life is never devoid of opportunity. Or of positivity. Or of love. Wherever we go and whatever we go through, those things are available to us, somehow, from somewhere but they may not take quite the form we are expecting – or we may be so distracted by some drama that we simply cannot see how we could yet be potentially blessed. That’s why clarity is such a gift and perspective is so precious. Because the cosmos is generously providing you with this awareness, this will yet be a fine week. Dial this number and start to really change your life. Call 1902 222 500. TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21 We don’t know how to answer some questions. We may think so long and hard that we cause our neural networks to overheat and blow gaskets in our brains. Yet if a situation is baffling to us, it will probably remain so until or unless we make a concerted effort to make sense of it. How much determination do you feel you have this week? Are you willing to push yourself hard in order to go the extra mile? You can always shrug your shoulders and give up if you prefer but an effort made now may yet give rise to a great reward. A phone call to me can be the start of something big. Call 1902 222 500. GEMINI MAY 22–JUN 22 Try though we may to be objective, various emotional urges colour our vision. If we feel warmly disposed towards someone, we may extend the benefit of the doubt when we perhaps should be raising a sceptical eyebrow. And if we are already angry or outraged about a situation, each new development, no matter how harmless or innocent, will become further grist to our mill of complaint. Much potential success awaits you this week. But a lot depends on your ability to rise above your most immediate responses. Don’t waste this week’s big cosmic chance. Give me a call: 1902 222 500. CANCER JUN 23–JUL 23 Some superstitious folk believe that their fortunes may be changed by the number of magpies that they see. If they come across a solitary bird, they may utter this phrase. “Hello Mr. Magpie, how is your wife today?” The idea here, is they figure that if they can’t see the second, more auspicious bird, they can at least acknowledge that it must exist and thus dispel misfortune. Many who have tried this say that it works. This week will bring you the chance to prove yourself more powerful than some old fallacious belief. Be brave. Pick up the phone. Let me help with your week. Call 1902 222 500. LEO JUL 24–AUG 23 TV police dramas follow a formula. While the characters may differ from show to show and the heroes and villains may have unique features, the audience soon disengage if deprived of a clear-cut clash between good and evil, a tense, lifethreatening interaction and a race against time of some kind. We love all that stuff but might we be also hooked on similar dramatic elements arising within the subplots of our own personal stories? Don’t scare yourself just for the sake of it this week. Prepare, instead, for great joy. Treat yourself to four valuable minutes. Call 1902 222 500. VIRGO AUG 24–SEP 23 You are just a kid. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how senior your position. We can discount too, any air of authority that you may exude. As for your vast wisdom based on hard-won experience, it also counts for nothing. Well, I say “nothing”, but in a way I mean everything. It is, of course, important but not as important, this week, as the need to allow your inner child an opportunity to come out to play. Neither are you too old to have fun, nor too weighed down by responsibility for such frivolity. It is what you need. I can now tell you what you most need to hear. Call 1902 222 500. LIBRA SEP 24–OCT 23 If the cosmos does not do your bidding, whose bidding does it do? Where is the chief’s chair? The headquarters? The Gold Command Centre? And by what authority are the orders given there allowed to take priority over your own needs and requests? Someone else is really more important than you? We are all equal under the sun and you have as little (or as much) right as anyone else to expect the universe to support you. As Venus changes direction this week, you will see how true that is as you gain power. I’ve got advice that could help you a whole load. Call 1902 222 500. SCORPIO OCT 24–NOV 22 “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” So said US president JFK. He had a great speech writer. That was a mighty good line. It neatly summarised a sense of social responsibility that we all feel to some extent. We have a duty to behave well, not just for the sake of our family and friends, but in order to make the wider world a better place. We have a need to give which strangely sometimes seems, even more important than our need to receive. This week, your valour pays off. Need good news? I’ve got advice that can really help. Call 1902 222 500. SAGITTARIUS NOV 23–DEC 21 You are not in control of the cosmos. That much at least is self-evident, else why can you not do what you want, when you want? You have long since learned that at best you can cut a deal. As long as you work within the limits of what the universe might reasonably be able to supply, you stand at least some chance of getting some of it, some of the time. But perhaps even if you aren’t in charge of the cosmos, the cosmos is in charge of you and that affords great protection. You may yet see the proof of that this week. Grab your phone. Seize your chance. I’ve got news. Call 1902 222 500. CAPRICORN DEC 22–JAN 20 Let us imagine that you have made a long road journey. You are rapidly reaching your destination. On the outskirts of town, you see a sign. So, should you pull over, park beneath this, look quizzically up at the name and say, “Well, it says that I am here but I see no familiar landmarks!” That is just going to drag out what might otherwise be a swift and easy process of completion. Take, on trust, what your instincts are now telling you about how far you have lately come. More proof of positive process will come later this week. Wonder what you get when you call? Don’t wonder. Do it! Call 1902 222 500. AQUARIUS JAN 21–FEB 19 Great restaurants don’t just serve well-cooked food. They present it elegantly too. The tablecloths, the waiters, even the pictures on the walls, all contribute to a sense of theatre. This isn’t just supper for sustenance, this is an event, an experience, a moment in which to celebrate a very special kind of magic. Not that I’m necessarily suggesting that a fine dining experience lies in store for you this week. But I think we can safely predict that something which could be seen as ordinary, will yet become delightfully special. If you call me now, I’ll tell you stuff you’ll be happy to hear. Call 1902 222 500. PISCES FEB 20–MAR 20 These days, before any of us can ever do anything, a complex set of rituals must first be enacted. Supplications must be offered to the twin deities of health and safety. Sacrifices in the form of diligently inscribed risk assessments must also be made. A cardinal sin in this new religion is an action taken on impulse. Until or unless the paperwork has been sanctified, every idea, no matter how good, must be seen as unholy. Yet this week, despite a lack of appropriate approval, you are due to get clean away with making a move in haste. If you ring me for your forecast, you’ll be glad you did! Call 1902 222 500.