The Gold Coast Bulletin

Disarming the f-bomb

- Alicegorma­n.com.au

BANTERhate­d phrases are crap, as in ‘‘That’s crap’’, and holy hell, as in ‘‘I can’t believe teachers at your Catholic primary school would like to hear you say holy hell.’’ T h e n t h e r e ’ s ‘ ‘ f r i c k e n ’ ’ , ‘‘OMG’’, ‘‘that sucks’’, and ‘‘I can’t remember’’.

I’m still not sure our f-man fully understood what he was saying or how bad it was.

And that’s the thing, the parenting books say ‘‘don’t react, just ignore it’’. But I’m sorry, in my book ignoring foul language is a derelictio­n of duty.

We’ve travelled this road before. Our eldest was about the same age when he discovered he could raise a reaction with a few choice words. His true talent was masking the misdemeano­r.

Me: ‘‘How dare you use word.’’

Him: ‘‘Mum, I SHIP with a P!!’’ Yeah right, of course you did. To make matters worse, a combinatio­n of parenting-induced stress and sleep deprivatio­n mean it’s often very easy for parents to drop the odd eff or sh word in a moment of weakness.

Be assured nothing escapes the supersonic ears of your kids.

‘‘Mum, Mum, Dad crashed your car,’’ the youngest said.

The oldest added: ‘‘Yeah and he said the eff word.’’

Shame the parenting books don’t prescribe a punishment for a wayward dad.

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ship, From the team at Disney, this challengin­g physicsbas­ed game will keep your littlies hooked as they try to guide water to Swampy the Alligator, who lives in the sewers. As they progress, new levels are unlocked and new characters introduced, including Cranky the toughest alligator. Learning can be fun. The Daniel Morcombe Foundation has created an app that will help keep people of all ages safe. The Help Me button sounds a warning and allows the user to send two SMS messages to nominated safe numbers, including the GPS co-ordinates of where the message was sent. Bored? Whip out your phone or iPad and do a spot of virtual window shopping. This app is like having the latest fashion mag on your phone. Create a wish-list of expensive wardrobe items for that day when your Lotto numbers come up.

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