SHRINE GIVES COMFORT

IN any interaction within a community, there has to be give and take.

When a death is involved, allowances have to be made and there surely should be more “giving’’ than anything else, at least in the short to mid-term.

No one would seriously expect the Tallai property owner who abruptly removed a makeshift floral shrine from outside his home yesterday to accept the memorial — put there by mourners who had lost a precious family member and friend in a crash — as a permanent fixture.

But an element of respect should have prevailed and he could have accepted the shrine’s presence while grief and emotions were raw for those who loved and admired the crash victim, a woman well-known in the Mudgeeraba area for her work as a teacher. As a family friend said yesterday, the first thing many of the mourners from out of town had done when they arrived on the Gold Coast for the funeral was visit the crash site to say a prayer.

Griffith University academic Margaret Gibson offered good advice yesterday when she said sensitivities should be taken into consideration when negotiating the removal of a roadside memorial, and suggested a special ritual involving mourners and even the property owner.

Death is always confronting. It is not easy for residents in that street to accept someone has been killed outside their properties, but it is even harder for the victim’s family and close friends who understandably want to visit there, at least in the short term.

It is part of a coping mechanism. Grief can be all-consuming as we mourn departed loved ones, but in reality funeral ceremonies and shrines are just as much about supporting the living as people are confronted by the inevitably of death.