TODAY’S BEST TEXT

Great spectacle of George Brandis blubbering in feigned affront at Pauline’s dramatics in Parliament. Where are the tears for innocent little Julian Cadman, run down while walking hand-inhand with his mum in Barcelona? Where’s the real rage now, George? It’s starting, believe me, in every country which has suffered one of these atrocities. – Rob D.

The soccer World Cup could never be held on the GC. Every time they got a corner, the council would install a set of traffic lights. – SH