OFF THE RECORD
THERE’S no fury like a woman ignored. The scene is a big awards’ night and the man of the hour is called to the stage to accept a singular honour for his years of success. In his thank-you speech he acknowledges his boss, co-workers, mentors, friends, pet goldfish etc … in short everyone he has ever known. There was, however, one notable exception – his ever-loving wife. When he returned to his seat after passing through the adoring crowd he noticed she was nowhere to be seen. Mightily miffed at being rated lower than a goldfish, she had stormed home. He says it was an oversight due to the emotion of the night while she still isn’t taking kindly to being an oversight.
FOR many a year they worked together in the same office. As often happens they left to pursue different career paths with one going on to have spectacular success and the other plodding along in the ranks of middle management. Now the plodder has started to rise through the ranks while the star pupil has stalled in her rocket ride to the top. The little bit of influence has seemingly gone to the head of the slow mover who is now doing everything in her power to ensure her former workmate doesn’t rise again. Jealousy truly is a curse.
THIS celebrity wannabe needs to remember fame is fleeting and oblivion is forever. Out shopping for clothes she was recognised from her 15 seconds of fame while trying on a new dress. Complimented on the look, she nodded, went back in to change and then dropped off the dress to the counter. There she very loudly complained to the shop assistant that she would have bought the dress except she was tired of being harassed by the public everywhere she went. To make matters worse the shop assistant looked blank because she had no idea who she was.
THE piper must be paid but in this case who did pay the piper? Everybody was invited to this special luncheon. All ate and drank to excess – as they do when they think it is being paid for by the host. However when the bill came it was passed around the table to the host who calmly said, “That will be $150 per head.” You could have ripped the hem out of moi’s nightie as the guests were asked to hand over the moolah for this bloke’s indulgence. One saccharine sweet sheila then declared, “We know you are joking, so thanks for a lovely lunch,” and promptly left with others following her lead. Tres embarrassing.