BEST ASHES SLEDGES

GLENN MCGRATH v MIKE ATHERTON

McGrath: “Athers, it would help if you got rid of the s**t at the end of your bat.” (Atherton looks at the bottom of his bat).

McGrath: “No, mate, at the other end.”

JIMMY ORMOND v MARK WAUGH

Waugh: “No way you’re good enough to play for England.” Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my own family.”

FRED TRUEMAN v AUSTRALIAN BATSMAN Trueman: “Don’t bother shutting the gate, son, you’ll be back soon.”

IAN BOTHAM v RODNEY HOGG

After Hogg lost his balance while bowling and fell at Botham’s feet: Botham: “I know you think I’m great Hoggy, but no need to get down on your knees.”

CRAIG MCDERMOTT v PHIL TUFNELL

After being bowled by Tufnell: McDermott: “You’ve got to bat on this in a minute, Tuffers. Hospital food suit you?”

DENNIS LILLEE v GEOFF BOYCOTT

Lillee: “Geoffrey Boycott is the only fellow I’ve met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since.”

MERV HUGHES v GRAEME HICK

Hughes: “If you turn the bat over there’s instructions on the back.”

AUSSIE FAN v PHIL TUFNELL Fan: “Oi, Tufnell! Can I borrow your brain? I’m building an idiot.”