OFF THE RECORD
OLD habits die hard apparently. At a recent social function we were merrily snapping away and after the pic asked one of the gentlemen his name. He duly told us and then we asked him for the lady’s name. “Julia – oops, sorry, that’s the name of my first wife.” Now in terms of inappropriate places to blurt out the name of an ex it’s not at the top of the list – we all know that one – but it is pretty close. Happily the newly minted blushing bride was able to laugh it off but he may need to sleep with his eyes open for a few nights.
WE HAVE a winner for the Dunce of the Week Award. This out-of-towner, knowing her gal pal was going to be overseas for a week, rang to ask if she could stay in her highrise unit for a few days. No problem, come on up, the weather is fine and after a few instructions about watering the plants and keeping the unit tidy, the arrangements were made. However while she was overseas the friend checked the social media account of her house sitter and was horrified by the postings. There was the freeloader out and about wearing the owner’s designer clothes and boasting to her other friends about her “new” dress, sunglasses and handbag. The generous one has lost a “friend” but learned a lesson.
ALWAYS helpful if you are booked to MC a function that you take the time to learn the names of those important peeps paying your fee. At this big gig the main corporates and major sponsors were either mispronounced, left out, or worst of all, the wrong people were given the credit for all the hard work. The wincing in the crowd during all the gaffes should have been a clue that things weren’t going well. There’s no chance of a return engagement going by the dark and stormy faces after the function was done and dusted.
THESE two scribes are best mates and constant drinking partners. “How about coming over for a few coldies?” rang one of the hacks. “Sorry, can’t. Busy at the moment.” “Aah, come on over, mate. Got lots to tell yah.” On and on he pleaded until the other mate finally said in a whisper, “Mate, I have had a good reason. My father died suddenly and I am at his funeral.” Dead (sorry) silence!