OFF THE RECORD
SOMEONE badly needs to do a crash course in home economics. Left to his own devices when his mother was away, number one son decided, for the first time, to iron his own shirt before heading off to work. He placed the shirt on and then his dear dad walked by and observed there was a big crease in the sleeve. His solution? He picked up the iron and hit the crease with a full blast of steam. Ouch! On the plus side the crease was gone but his arm was now wrinkled and had turned a nasty shade of red requiring medical treatment.
KARMA is a real witch. If she had been more of a caring, sharing person then possibly someone may have intervened when this harridan emerged from the ladies with her dress caught up in her undies. However, given her fearsome reputation, she was left to stroll back to her table with her sensible knickers exposed to the night air with giggles and laughter following her every step. Eventually she realised that things were far too breezy down there and brought the curtains down on the show.
SPEAKING of wardrobe malfunctions, how about the dame who decided to go all Madonna and headed out to dinner wearing a seethrough dress. Tres trendy and all that but some things are best left unseen and if you don’t want people making cruel comments behind your back maybe it’s best to cover up those things which are usually only sighted by a spouse or your doctor. Just saying.
MIRROR, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Judging by this dude’s love of his own reflection we’re guessing he thinks it is him. After he was asked to get in close to his girlfriend for a photo for this paper he replied, “No, I don’t want to get anywhere near her because it might spoil my hair do.”
LET’S call them blonde and unnaturally blonder. These Gold Coast beauties thought it would be a good idea, a la Thelma and Louise without the car off the cliff, to motor on down to Sydney. Off they set tootling down the highway with a song in their hearts. A few hours later they realised they should have filled up the tank before they left and so pulled in for petrol. On the road again before an hour later the blonder one said, “That’s funny! This road looks very familiar.” You guessed it. They had taken the wrong turn at the petrol station and were on the road back to the Gold Coast. Blonde to the bone.