‘NOTHING BUT A TEAM OF CONVICTS’
COAST RIVALS FILE ASHES REPORT CARDS
JACK LICKISS (HELENSVALE)
A SERIES result of 4-0 just about says it all.
England was outplayed in every facet of the game.
Their bowling line up aside from Jimmy Anderson lacked any venom, their batting line up if filled with guys who are only good for about 20, and lets not get into the fielding.
Dawid Malan was the only shining light to come of this tour, with a sublime hundred in Perth and half centuries in Brisbane and Sydney.
THE TOUR ENDS FOR ...
Guys like Mark Stoneman, James Vince, Moeen Ali, Stuart Broad, even Alastair Cook (pictured), endured a horror – and likely their last – Ashes Tour.
In fairness to England, the conditions could not have been more home-friendly. But they needed their senior guys to stand up.
Cook, made 132 runs in his eight innings outside of the Melbourne Test – not good enough. Looked all at sea against the pace of the Aussie quicks.
Stuart Broad entered Australia needing only 12 wickets to reach 400 Test wickets. An easy task one would think for England’s second most successful bowler ever.
However it proved too difficult as he failed to fire in every Test match.
England came here with high hopes, but as it turns out, they came four-nothing! (4-0)
CHRIS PATTISON (SOUTHPORT)
ALL right, 4-0, a rather convincing victory. Now time for some home truths for you convicts.
You’re all getting carried away with this bowling line up and this side (I’ve even heard comparisons to the “golden side”).
Quite frankly that is embarrassing and insulting. Messers Starc, Hazlewood, Cummins and Lyon aren’t even fit to clean the spikes of Messers McGrath, Gillespie, Lee and Warne let alone be compared to them.
And as far as the batting goes, besides ‘Smiddy’ it would be plain wrong to compare them too.
REAL WORRIES FOR...
Firstly, there’s the whingeing. From the desperation to keep Stokes back in good old Blighty, to the head-butting scandal of Johnny Bairstow and Cam Bancroft, it was very poor from Aussie fans.
Secondly and more importantly, the support. The Aussie support was almost non existent.
The Richies made a little bit of effort but it was timid.
Having been to all five Tests, barring the blue skies and the 30C heat, you’d have excused me for thinking this was a series on English soil.
So in conclusion, us Poms can’t wait for the 2019 series – but I doubt I’d see any Aussie fans come out to support their side.