OFF THE RECORD
HOW not to make it into the social pages of a leading newspaper: 1. March up to the snapper and demand to be taken. 2. When the snapper ignores your rudeness and agrees to take the photo, don’t then start barking instructions as to how YOU want to be photographed. 3. When the photo is finally taken don’t look at the image and abuse the photographer for not being very good. The end.
GREATER love has no man than to give up the ultimate boy’s weekend rubbing shoulders with some of Sydney’s elite to keep in his wife’s good books. Having already booked some weeks ago for the Mayoress Charity Ball, he was dismayed to then receive an invitation to the aforementioned wild weekend. Knowing that his wife had already bought a new dress, shoes and handbag, he did what any man with a room temperature IQ would do – he passed up the opportunity. Even smarter to then let his wife know what a great sacrifice he had made, thus ensuring he has a vault full of brownie points waiting to be used. Who’s a clever boy then?
HOW embarrassing. Who is the recently divorced male of middling to old age who was proudly parading his newly acquired, over inflated, very young blonde girlfriend around town? By chance he met an equally elderly friend and introduced the BGF. “Is this your granddaughter?” asked the friend innocently. There was much harrumphing before divorced one stormed off with the BGF struggling to keep up in her new red heeled shoes.
WHO remembers the film Wedding Crashers? Well it seems we have our own local version in two likely lads who, while not looking for desperate and dateless young women, are simply out to eat and drink on someone else’s tab. Best of all when someone quizzes them as to their connection to the party, they mention a fictitious name and then if that doesn’t work, simply slide off into the night.
WORKMEN renovating this particular mega-roomed mansion have been surprised at the comings and goings at the house. It seems when the master of the house is away, the wife is taking her love to town. Around lunch time, a young hunky dude rolls up in his convertible, Lady Chatterley jumps into the front seat, a quick peck hello and then they roar away together. Now they may be discussing bathroom fixtures or floor tiles but the suspicion is that most of the ‘conversation’ is on hard wearing bedding.