Corbett opens up on a widow’s grief
Ironman Mercer’s wife pens foreword to new book on loss
REEN Corbett has paid tribute to her “wonderful, warm and loving husband”, champion ironman Dean Mercer, in a new book written by a widow, for widows.
An ironman who won everything from the World Oceanman series to the Coolangatta Gold, Mercer, 47, died on August 28 last year when he suffered an acute heart attack while driving at Mermaid Waters.
Ms Corbett shares her family’s devastation at losing Mercer in an eloquent and emotional tribute to the devoted dad in the foreword of Wollongong clinical psychologist Dr Olga Lavalle’s book The New Normal: A Widow’s Guide To Grief.
The foreword to the independently published book marks the first time Ms Corbett has spoken publicly about her husband’s death since she opened her heart to the world at his funeral at Carrara’s Gold Coast Sport and Leisure Centre in September 2017.
“He touched the hearts of so many people in his life as a celebrated athlete and avid community supporter, but none so more than his family,” Ms Corbett writes.
“I could not have dreamt of a better man to be my husband and the father of my children.”
Ms Corbett says her husband attacked parenting with the same time, effort and dedication he applied to his sporting achievements.
“Dean and I adored each other and created a beautiful life together. He gave me four beautiful, amazing, kind boys – Brayden, Rory, Joshua and Lachlan. I’m so grateful to him for them,” she writes.
A clinical psychologist with more than 30 years’ experience in mental health, Dr Lavalle said she asked Ms Corbett to pen the foreword after sending her a final draft copy of the book to read following Mr Mercer’s death.
“I decided to reach out to Reen. I thought this lady will be going through intense grief,” she said.
Dr Lavalle’s beautiful and brutally honest book covers the year following the shock death of her husband and father of three, Mick, in 2014, following a heart attack.
Dr Lavalle channelled her experiences as a psychologist, wife and mum into step-bystep strategies to help fellow widows manage their grief.
“People think ‘she would be able to cope with this, she will know what to do’ because I’m a psychologist but that’s all out the window,” she said.
I COULD NOT HAVE DREAMT OF A BETTER MAN TO BE MY HUSBAND AND THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN REEN CORBETT
“I went on a journey to embrace grief for what it is and see what happens. All I could do was cope as best I could and do what I thought was right. With the journey I had taken after 12 months, I decided to write about adjusting to life.”
While grief remains her constant companion, Ms Corbett says she relates to the empathy and experience Dr Olga shares in the book.
“There is so much synergy with what I experienced and continue to experience as time passes. The strength a widow finds in herself is so evident in these pages,” she writes in the foreword.
“I am now a part of a tribe and to be a part of the healing of those wounds for others is a legacy I embrace.”
T J HENDY: I’M THERE TO WIN, P79