Kids too little to grasp gravity of dad’s battle
IAN Herbst wants only one thing, to be a good dad.
But with stage four cancer and ongoing chemo treatment, just getting out of bed is a struggle.
The Gold Coast father was told just before Christmas that cancer of the oesophagus had seized his lungs, liver and lymph nodes.
Yet his biggest concern is not the treatment he faces, or the unknown future, it is his ability to be a father to his two young daughters, Lucy, 2, and Emma, 14 months.
“They aren’t old enough to understand what is going on,” Mr Herbst said. “They don’t understand why dad can’t wrestle and play, why I need to sleep so much. That is the hardest part – Dad looks like he just doesn’t want to do those things.”
The earth-shattering diagnosis came out of the blue for the young family.
November had been a busy month for the Surfers Paradise building manager who was dealing with Schoolies: “I had indigestion, the GP had given me medication for it and it wasn’t getting better. We were busy with Schoolies. I thought it was just stress, but it didn’t improve.”
The 48-year-old returned to the doctor in early December and was given further tests.
His wife Catherine said cancer was the last thing on their minds.
“When we first went back to the gastro to see the results of the scan we were thinking reflux or a stomach ulcer, nothing like this,” Mrs Herbst said. “He seemed healthy.
“I knew he had a PT scan and I knew that was for cancer cells, but even then we thought it was a small tumour maybe, something they can operate on.”
Instead, Mr Herbst was diagnosed with an inoperable oesophageal cancer which had spread throughout his body and left a tumour the size of a cricket ball in his liver.
“It was like a bombshell went off while we were sitting there in the gastro’s office,” Mrs Herbst said.
“I didn’t even cry. I was too numb at that point.
“The tears, the feeling of despair came after, mainly due to the uncertainty of it all and what it meant.”
In need of immediate treatment the couple sat listening to their doctor make call after call searching for a specialist available over Christmas.
“The room was so silent we could hear the calls, they just kept ringing out, or going to voicemail. It was terrifying,” Mrs Herbst said. “Finally we got someone.” Mr Herbst began his treatment Christmas Eve and has continued to balance the rounds of radiation therapy with work – in order to keep a roof over their heads.
“My accommodation comes with my job so I need to stay employed,” Mr Herbst said.
“I am very lucky work has been so supportive.”
Mrs Herbst has also taken time off work to care for her husband as they wait to see if the treatment has helped.
The family is raising money through GoFundme to prepare for whatever happens after chemotherapy.
“We talk about things like when I relapse, what happens then, what our options might be,” Mr Herbst said.
“It will also help cover dayto-day stuff like nappies.
“I am still obviously balancing up sick leave but am accepting my ability to bounce back is diminishing.
“I am certainly seeing things through different eyes. I am more focused on enjoying the little things. The meals together, the play time.”
You can donate at: https:// www.gofundme.com/helpian-fight-the-good-fight