OFF THE RECORD
EMBRACING the big V lifestyle – vegetarianism or veganism – is a matter of personal choice. Someone of that crowd must have missed the memo about being a kinder, gentler lot than those who regularly chow down on a chop. Pity the poor waitress who delivered a garden salad with all the healthy trimmings to this young V woman. She looked askance at the green delights and said: “This lettuce is rocket. It doesn’t mention rocket on the menu and I HATE rocket. Make me another one without rocket.” To her great credit the waitress didn’t say ‘get a life’ and upend the plate on her head but simply smiled and went back to the kitchen. Green is green, right?
HOW to lose a sponsorship in one easy lesson. Invite the MD of the company giving your club a lot of money to a dinner. The president introduces himself and calls the MD by the wrong name. The MD politely corrects the mistake and after a few drinks they all go in and sit down to eat. Between courses the president hauls himself out of his chair and starts his speech by thanking the MD. This time he not only got the name wrong again but also that of the company. End result – no more sponsorship.
FORMER US Vice President Joe Biden has been accused by assorted women of too many long hugs and (bizarrely) sniffing their hair. It seems we have a “hug holder” of our own who insists on long embraces with many of his younger female underlings. The embraceable ones have cleverly devised a cunning plan to avert the problem. When they have to move around the office they always make sure that they carry something bulky – files, books, laptop – so that if they do get caught in an unwanted embrace, they at least have something solid between he and she.
YOU get what you pay for certainly applies to this oh so greedy dame who lives in a waterfront mansion on the avenue deluxe. To keep her pile looking pristine she has been employing young, foreign visitors who are desperate for some extra income. Underpaid and overworked and with a limited grasp of English – does that sound like a recipe for disaster? You got it. Before she left for her usual hectic round of nails, hair, massage, lunch she gave specific instructions of what not to do when cleaning the carpets. Somehow that got lost in translation and the workers thought that was what they had to do. New carpets anyone?