OFF THE RECORD
Attention Deficit (or ADHD) is a legitimate medical condition but there appears to be a non-legitimate version that is affecting one of us. The symptoms are very straight forward and non-life threatening – an inability to understand that your time in the spotlight is over and you should move on with your life. This chap apparently rose to “prominence” a few years back on some television show. His name or face didn’t ring a bell but we were assured that he did appear once upon a time on a TV show far, far away. Somehow he still believes that he should be front page news every time he moves and demands, yes demands, that he be snapped at every function he attends. Sorry old chum but your 15 minutes are well and truly up.
Taking illegal drugs is against the law. Legal issues aside it is also not a good look to be someone of note and to be spotted sniffing and snorting in the front seat of your car where any and all passers-by can see what you are doing. Even more so when one of your good customers sees you and makes a disdainful comment about your behaviour. The implication is that he is now considering whether you are a fit and proper person responsible enough to be handling his business. Straighten up and stay on the ground.
Just as sharks circle their prey so too has this couple decided that is the best way to make the social pages. There are many publications that provide social coverage and their modus operandi is to spot a snapper of the non-fish kind and then walk around and around until they are noticed. Having succeeded in that quest they then head off to find another photographer and repeat the process all over again. It seems so silly and demeaning but then again it takes all types.
How long should a warranty last? Which marriage celebrant was happily trolleydollying down the aisles at her local supermarket when she heard a loud voice?
“I want my money back!” said a man. Looking around she spotted a vaguely familiar face. He repeated the phrase as he walked towards her. It turns out she had officiated at the man’s wedding some 20 years ago but sadly the vows didn’t take. Spotting her he decided to have some fun now that the divorce was finalised and asked if he could get a refund. After a few minutes of watching her stutter and stammer he finally relented, told her it was a joke and left her to continue shopping.