Be a good body image role model
LIVING your best life is a worthy goal for any parent, but it’s asking a lot in 2020, as we hurtle down its unprecedented path. Still, providing positive modelling for our kids as we hit the midwinter mark has rarely been more important, with the mental and physical effects of the pandemic piling on across the population.
A Heart Foundation survey in May found that 54 per cent of Australians had gained weight since the crisis began.
Complaining about COVID-kilos while casting an increasingly critical eye over one’s reflection has become a frequent pastime for many, but the job of cultivating and maintaining body-positive children means it’s time to send a little self-love to the rescue.
Nutritionist Donna Aston says teaching children permanent good food habits from a young age could only be accomplished by parents participating in what they preach.
“Get them involved in not only cooking food, but going to the market and selecting food, or potentially even growing food at home … like a vegie garden or something along those lines,” she says. “I think that kids will always enjoy healthy food if they’ve either picked it, chosen it or helped to cook it.”
The language we use to talk about our own bodies inevitably influences younger members of the household. With everyone currently spending so much extra time together in the home, the incidence of parents making negative comments about themselves may be higher, or it may just be that parents are being overheard by impressionable little people more often.
“It’s really important to watch your language when you’re talking about your own body, weight, fitting into clothes or how you’re feeling about yourself,” Aston says.
“Children do pick up on that, and if that’s always a negative message … that can certainly play a role right through their teenage years.
“Leading by example and being a good role model is king in all of this. It doesn’t matter what you say and do with your children if you’re looking at yourself with disgust and complaining all the time about not fitting into your clothes, bingeing on silly foods and drinking too much alcohol.
“If children see you do this and you’re telling them to do something else, then obviously there’s not really a lot of authenticity in what you’re saying.”
Simone Haag, working mum to girls Goldie, 6, Clover, 4, and Juniper, 1, was caught off guard when Goldie recently refused to wear a puffer vest because she thought it made her look fat.
“I was thrown that a six-year-old kid would mirror those sentiments. It’s something we’ve all got to be on the front foot about,” Haag says
“I didn’t have a script in my mind as to how I would respond to those kinds of comments. In my mind, that was 10 years away.”
Happy Families’ Dr Justin Coulson, a psychologist and parenting expert, recounts the story of a little girl who became upset when her dad only told her she was pretty when she was wearing a dress. The child inferred meaning from a habit her father didn’t even know he had. “We can say things like, ‘I love you when you wear shorts, and dresses, and even pyjamas’, then move on to other things that matter more, like tickles, hugs and fun,” Coulson says.
“Focus on what you say about your own appearance, what you say about theirs, and how much and what type of media they see.”
In addition to leading a very active family life, Haag says her main area of focus for her three girls was building their confidence with adults, confidence with their peers and their inner resilience and strength.
“They will cop criticism, be it their hair colour, their body shape, or a pimple on their nose,” she says. “Resilience hopefully translates through any of those circumstances.”
“Perfect should be your own equilibrium. You know they’re going to go through this, either when they’re six or 16 or 26, but they can draw on an artillery of strengths that aren’t reliant on their bodies.”